Note to self: Leave Some Space

There is a voice inside of you
That whispers all day long,
"I feel this is right for me,
I know that this is wrong."
No teacher, preacher, parent, friend
Or wise man can decide
What's right for you--just listen to
The voice that speaks inside.” 
~Shel Silverstein

With school finished and summer in swing, I am finding a restful balance between pool time with my kiddos, play time in my studio, catching up with friends, mindless stints watching the second season of Orange is the New Black and a bit of creative envisioning for my next steps. It feels so refreshing and a bit disorienting to have so much "free" time! For the last two years my life involved a careful and somewhat neurotic orchestration of details to ensure that both school assignments and everyday life responsibilities were fulfilled. Now I am relishing in the   S P A C E   that has been created in both my psyche and schedule.

I am poignantly aware of how good it feels to have this kind of expanse in my days and that my natural tendency is to take on "more" often because I see that I can. Additionally, as I look back over the course of my life, it's clear that I am drawn toward intense long term projects that will catalyze growth or learning. I love deep immersion experiences that lead to powerful transformations. I've just completed another one and for now I am satisfied with simple and straightforward. I am intentionally leaving some space in each day to do nothing. And it's hard. Just sit or lie down. No walking, no yoga, no deep breathing, no doodling, no eating or chewing gum. At least 5 minutes committed to nothing. I am learning the beauty of leaving a little empty room inside of my crowded mind and life because it feels good. Emptiness has a presence that calls to me right now. I am reminded of a suggestion offered in Sufi healing. When someone is sick the first place that healing is directed is toward the gut. It is believed that the stomach is where most illness begins and it can be treated by caring for our digestion through the quantity and quality of food that we consume. The Sufi healing way is to fill 1/3 of the stomach with food, 1/3 with water and to leave 1/3 empty. The deeper wisdom of healing lies in leaving some empty space in order to allow ourselves to experience a tinge of hunger or thirst as a way of remembering our greater need for true fulfillment from the Divine. There is a similar theme in Zen with the practice of oryoki, the ceremonial meal taken during long meditation intensives. Oryoki means "that which contains just enough" and is symbolized by the Buddha bowl that a monk receives at ordination. I have been fortunate enough to experience oryoki first hand when I lived at the San Francisco Zen Center. I recall being moved by the process of lining up the bowls, chanting, eating, cleaning and wrapping the bowls. Everyone begins and ends the ritual at the same time and the everyday act of eating becomes a sacred event that teaches about this idea of enough. "The aim is not to drink until you are so full that you never have to drink again; the aim is to cultivate the perfect thirst, so that you never stop drinking" says the Sufi proverb. Begin to consider for yourself: What is enough?

I am also aware of the fact that something(s) comes from nothing. There is so much that is inspiring me to action and I am waking up each morning with new ideas that propel me onward to fashioning my future. One of my latest creative explorations was inspired by the way I am always writing notes or reminders to myself. Pick up contact lenses, return library books, order the birthday cake, meet Nancy at 4. . . . I would be lost without those little navigational scraps of paper. But recently playing around in my studio, I found myself making different reminders to myself. These were simple reminders of what's really important or something my little (s)elf needed to hear from my bigger (S)elf. Thus began a series of index card sized impressions that serve as soulful expressions to offer a wider perspective. I place them in the car or on the counter next to my on-going to-do lists as a way of remembering my deeper wisdom and purpose.

It's your turn to give it a try. You do not need fancy art supplies or a lot of time to do this. You could just hand write a simple message to yourself that speaks from your heart in the moment. I'll share with you my process. My daughter even joined me in the note making fun today!

Gather a few supplies: Index cards or watercolor paper cut into squares, watercolor paint (I use kids Crayola), crayons or markers, stamps, scraps of paper, glue, decorative tape. Anything you have on hand is fine. (Note: if you use watercolor paint, you will need watercolor paper). 

  
Paint a simple background with a couple of colors and let it dry:

Begin to add any stickers, tape or stamps to decorate:

Finally, pause for a moment and check in--what word or words come to you from your wise wonderful Self to your personal self that is often busy managing the many details of your current life? Go with what comes and try not to think too hard about it:

Here is my finished product from today:

Here is my daughter's note:

This simple practice reminds me of what I value--time to reflect, explore and to leave plenty of space to appreciate just where I am. It offers a complimentary perspective to the busy-ness of everyday demands and connects me to my soul longings. This feels like the perfect summer activity. It provides the opportunity to savor the moments of this season with its longer, slower paced days and some much needed time off. I hope that you make some space in your own life to remember what you value, create something small from it, and then leave some space to lie down and do nothing! Happy Summer! xo   

The Whole Picture

The timing of this month's post happens to be in sync with the completion of my two year journey to earning my Master's degree in Transpersonal Psychology! 

It's official--I'm done. 

Over the course of the last month I have been busy finishing up my final thesis paper on creativity and healing and creating my portfolio which highlights my experience and passion. I have been amazed to see how all of the pieces have fit together to create a complete picture of who I am and what I have to offer the world. Of course all endings are arbitrary, as we are in a constant state of evolution, but for now I feel a sense of wholeness and peace.

My deepest desire is to share what I have learned. I hope to support others in their unique journey to becoming whole. I am excited to expand my professional offering to include individual life coaching/personal healing sessions along with group workshops to teach and explore themes in transpersonal psychology, creative process and self-discovery. 

I plan on taking the summer "off" to rest and digest, to be with my family, attempt to cook meals again, read fiction, make messes in my home art studio, and spend less time in the virtual world and more in the actual one. I'll be creating space for my next adventure. I'm already working on putting together my first workshops that I hope to roll out by September. So stay tuned! In the meantime please check out my portfolio and share it with anyone who you think may resonate. I am profoundly grateful to all that have supported my metamorphosis--especially my family, my mentors, and fellow students who have given me one the greatest gifts with regard to personal transformation--a reminder that we cannot, and are not meant to, make this journey alone.

https://pathbrite.com/jennyclarke

With gratitude and appreciation for all of you. . . .

Here's to seeing the whole picture of your own beautiful life and being inspired!

Waking Up to the Dream

Pilar Zeta: Falling in Love with the Dark Side of the Universe

This place is a dream. 
Only a sleeper considers it real.
Then death comes like dawn, 
and you wake up laughing 
at what you thought was your grief.
But there's a difference with this dream. 
Everything cruel and unconscious
done in the illusion of the present world,
all that does not fade away at the death-waking.
It stays, 
and it must be interpreted.

~Rumi from "The Dream that Must Be Interpreted"

“Between living and dreaming there is a third thing. Guess it.” 
~Antonio Machado

Carl Jung called dreams “the royal road to the unconscious” and considered them one of the best opportunities to communicate with the vast unknown landscape of our inner world. Over the course of the last two years I have committed to keeping a dream journal where I record my nocturnal stories. The the themes that I have recognized and insights that I have uncovered are truly remarkable. My last and final class for graduate school is on Transpersonal approaches to dreaming and I had the good fortune of attending a workshop on the subject when I was in California in January of this year. Jeremy Taylor, who taught the workshop, wrote the book The Wisdom of Your Dreams: Using Dreams to Tap Into Your Unconscious and Transform Your Life. He is a true master of dream interpretation and offers decades of dreamwork experience in helping people decode the often abstract and disjointed material of a dream. He supports the view that, just as many indigenous cultures practiced, we too can benefit from sharing our dreams in a group setting to help uncover deeper layers of the dream. In this way dreams support not only our personal, but our collective growth as well. 

Taylor articulates ten basic assumptions about dreams that I will share here as a foundation to learning about how to view and work with your own dreams:

1. All dreams come in service of health and wholeness.
2. No dream comes just to tell the dreamer what he or she already knows.
3. Only the dreamer can say with any certainty what meanings his or her dream may hold.
4. The dreamer’s aha of recognition is a function of previously unconscious memory and is the only reliable touchstone of dream work.
5. There is no such thing as a dream with only one meaning. 
6. All dreams speak a universal language of metaphor and symbol.
7. All dreams reflect inborn creativity and ability to face and solve life’s problems. 
8. All dreams reflect society as a whole, as well as the dreamer’s relationship to it.
9. Working with dreams regularly improves relationships with friends, lovers, partners, parents, children, and others.
10. Working with dreams in groups builds community, intimacy, and support and begins to impact society as a whole.

To recognize that ALL dreams come in the service of health and wholeness is an important starting point. Dreams range in tone from mundane to terrifying and Taylor posits that “bad” dreams are really just a mechanism of the unconscious to help bring attention to some important information for our lives. It’s difficult to forget a troubling or recurring dream. 

If you really want to begin to work with the material of your dreams begin to set your intention at night before you go to sleep. Tell yourself that you want to remember your dreams. Try to record the dream first thing upon waking before you do anything else and write the dream as if it were happening in the moment. Get it down in as much detail as you are able to recollect. The next thing I do is give the dream a title. This, in itself, can be revealing. Look at the dream sentence by sentence--jot down anything that  comes to you as you read and think about it. A couple of questions that I have begun to ask regularly are “why now?” or “how does this dream speak to my life currently?” There is a reason for it showing up in my life at this particular time and I try to identify my associations. The other thing to keep in mind is that each part of your dream represents an aspect of your psyche. Try putting yourself in each role and and note what you observe. Is there one dream character that you relate to more than another? Very often the material of our dreams will provide access to our shadow qualities--the parts of ourselves that we have disowned or repressed. I have found that the personal transformation that results from honoring my dreams has come almost simply through the willingness to pay attention; to notice and take the time to listen without judgement to the diversity of voices within me. I don’t approach my dreams analytically with a need to “figure them out,” but rather with a curious and compassionate presence that is willing to contain even what I do not yet understand. I have deep respect for the mystery of dreams and try not to presume that “I know.” When I can suspend my need for certainty, then I remain open to learning more. I think it’s clear that all of these lessons and assumptions can apply to the “waking” dream as well. 

Sharing dreams with another is an intimate and sacred experience. It is important to hold them with respect and one of the guidelines that is imperative in responding to the dream of another is to recognize it as your projection of the dream. When we did our dream work together whenever we responded to a dreamer we were taught to begin with the words: “In my imagined version of the dream. . . “ or “My projection of your dream is. . .” This way we are able to take responsibility for the awareness the dream material may contain for us while offering a different perspective of the dream that may prove helpful for another. It becomes so clear when investigating dreams this way, how there are universal themes that resonate with all of us at some point in our lives. Dreams speak in the language of image, symbol and metaphor. Learning to decipher our dreams is like learning a new language and with practice it becomes more familiar.

I have come to strongly believe that for any personal healing to be complete, it must involve the cultivation of a relationship to the unconscious. This is especially important in the case of an illness or dis-ease that seems to persist despite our best efforts to heal. To become whole, integrated human beings we must carve pathways to our depths and mine the treasures that lie below the surface of our habitual patterns of operating. 

This month commit to recording your dreams. Keep a journal and pen next to your bed and take a few minutes upon waking to write anything you recall--even if it’s only a fragment or two. Give it a title. Ask “why now?” In what way does this dream speak to your current life situation? Pick a few key images or people from your dream and list any associations that you make when you think of that thing. Employ your senses--what feelings, colors, smells, tastes, etc. do you remember? Pay attention to details--for example, what was the name of the book lying on the table in your dream or what did your aunt’s t-shirt say? You can draw your dream or use images from magazines to create a collage as well. If you are inclined, share the dream with someone and ask them to respond as if it were their dream and see if you gain any new insights. I don't suggest using the dream interpretation dictionaries--instead, let the dream speak to you specifically and personally. I am open and would love to listen and respond to any dreams that you might want to share with me here or privately. 

As Carl Jung says, "The dream harbors no desire to distort or hide, any more than a flower or stone. . . ." By paying attention to our dreams we can gain clarity, guidance, healing and ultimately by bringing that conscious awareness to our daily lives we can transform the reality of our waking life. 

Sweet dreams!

Collage from a dream I titled Looking for my family

Finding Rhythm, Keeping Time

Flamenco by: Justyna Kopania

“Now I am going to reveal to you something which is very pure, a totally white thought. It is always in my heart; it blooms at each of my steps... The Dance is love, it is only love, it alone, and that is enough... I, then, it is amorously that I dance: to poems, to music but now I would like to no longer dance to anything but the rhythm of my soul.” 
~Isadora Duncan

Give up the known way; offer yourself to the eternal unknown. Swim there in the cool blue waters of faith where the only pleasure is in the truth that speaks not an answer but holds alive the questions of your beating heart. Dance there on the grave of your sorrows. Triumph in the song of this new way. Give up the pursuit that makes you weary. Trade in the old dusty fantasies. Open the window wider and listen to the breeze sing. Your soul is waking up to the deeper rhythm. Do not despair. The One you long for is here. Open the window wider so He can blow His breath into your heart. Open wider the window of your soul. Breathe in good things to come. . . .

That snippet from my journal was written on a recent picture perfect Spring day when all the windows were open and fresh air blew through my home.  I feel beckoned these days to open more generously to what is moving toward me now. This month I will turn 40 and I feel as though an entirely new journey lies on the horizon of the next decade of my life. I have spent the last couple of years sorting through the memories and experiences of my past; releasing and rewriting the stories and extracting the wisdom of all that has transpired. I've carefully and compassionately examined the deep patterns of habit and thought that keep me bound. I have been involved in the daily labor of building an inner bridge from my self to my longings and now, slowly, I sense myself coming full circle-back to the place from which I started-entirely different for the journey.

I have begun my last class for my Master's degree and am working on my final integration paper that will weave my study and practice of Transpersonal Psychology into some cohesive strand. A lot is happening in my life and I feel the excitement of nearing the end of my study. It has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life, but I am tired! And I've been a little moody these days. In the last few months I have felt my energy and stamina decline and decided to have some testing done to measure my adrenal function and hormone levels. I was not surprised to find that my cortisol levels are low and certain neurotransmitters are in need of a boost. My doctor has started me on a regimen of natural supplements to support my adrenals as well as a bio-identical progesterone cream to aid hormonal shifts that occur at my age. I am writing about this because I am amazed at the changes that have already occurred. I know many women are finding themselves in similar health situations. Within two days of starting the progesterone cream I felt a sense of mental clarity, increased physical energy and less irritability. It was so profound that I began to research it and found that my experience was identical to many women, including Oprah, who spoke of her own personal epiphany when she started on the hormone therapy.  

I realize that, in addition to the supplements, I am being called to find a new rhythm for living my life. As difficult as it is for me, I have consciously chosen to slow down and give up the frantic need to do it all; today. Less striving, more allowing. At last, shift from seeking to finding. Rest. The invitation of my minor health challenges is to tap into the deep reserves of life energy that exist below the surface of to-do's and "shoulds." I am learning to develop a new relationship with time that is in accord with my personal ebb and flow rather than my unrealistic expectations for myself. This is definitely a challenge given all of the responsibilities that I manage on any given day. But the fundamental shift that I am being called toward involves letting my longing lead the way rather than the dictates of my ego. I am finding that when I can surrender to that deeper current, I am at peace. 

Creatively, I am enjoying a period of bountiful inspiration and joy. I have been devouring books on painting and have loved diving into the world of color and form; exploring and experimenting with this brand new medium. I am even taking an on-line painting class! I am building my home studio, gathering various supplies and organizing little spaces for painting and collage. I look forward to my free moments of the day to venture upstairs into my little sanctuary to play. Spending even just a few minutes a day in this type of sacred space fills my being and provides a way to connect with myself in entirely new ways. Each exploration is different from the one before and as I look back over the process throughout a months time, I am able to recognize certain themes that emerge. My art making has become a kind of typography that illuminates not only where I am but also where I am going. It is like a waking dream not to be analyzed but gently held so that its layered meaning can be revealed. As I look back over the last month I see that almost all of my creative work has some kind of bird, feather, song or musical reference in it. Perhaps a signal to attune to a different tempo? My explorations speak to me of a time of movement, rhythm, transition, flight and lyrical communication. Poems are surfacing and simple phrases seem to rise to meet me when I am creating in this way.

I enjoyed sharing the creative process with someone else recently too. She arrived tired and overwhelmed by all that was demanded of her in her life. After a simple meditation I invited her to create a collage based on any images and words that intuitively called to her. After an hour working on her piece, we discussed what she created and we were both amazed at how clearly and emphatically her collage spoke to her need for reframing expectation in her life from drudgery to alive excitement. It is such an honor to share this process and witness the surprises and synchronicities that arise when we make the time and space for them. It is as though our longings are always looking for ways to meet us; we just need to listen and learn to communicate with them. 

In honor of this month's theme, take some time to consider identifying your own natural rhythms and relationship to time. Do you always feel rushed and like there is never enough time? Or are you often sluggish and battling inertia? What part of a cycle are you currently in? Are you just beginning some project or needing the energy and focus to see something through to the end? Just be aware of where you are in your life and determine what type of rhythm would best support your daily routine. One of my favorite creative explorations is collage. It's a non-threatening way to dip into your artistic ability. Think about this theme of rhythm and time in your life and how you would like to feel in relationship to it. Gather up a few magazines or images from personal photos or the web. Choose images and/or words that speak to you--try not to think too much about it. Once you have gathered your images and words, arrange them on a large piece of paper or in a journal. Place them in any way that feels good and glue them down. Then stand back and allow yourself a few moments to see it from a distance. Then look closely, notice detail. Move back and forth like this a few times. And then open yourself to let the images and words speak to you. What does your collage say? How do you feel when you look at it? Write a few words in your journal. Finally, create a simple affirmation based on what your collage elicits in you. Begin with the words "I am." For example, "I am  alive with awake expectation" or "I am relaxed and at ease with life's natural flow." Say the words aloud and feel them in your body. Place your collage somewhere visible as a reminder of your intention.

Henri Matisse said, "An artist must possess Nature. He must identify himself with her rhythm, by efforts that will prepare the mastery which will later enable him to express himself in his own language." I believe that if we can follow our cues from the natural world, we can begin to discover our  instinctive cadence and find entirely new ways to keep time.

What's Your Type?

Here's how I became myself: mess, failure, mistakes, disappointments, and extensive reading; limbo, indecision, setbacks, addiction, public embarrassment, and endless conversations with my best women friends; the loss of people without whom I could not live, the loss of pets that left me reeling, dizzying betrayals but much greater loyalty, and overall, choosing as my motto William Blake's line that we are here to learn to endure the beams of love. 

~Anne Lamott

There was a particularly challenging time in my life when I was a sophomore in college and I was experiencing navigational difficulty in discerning the direction of my life. I sought out the university therapist for help in deciding where I belonged. She was a southern belle with an eccentric flair and her name was Lila Faye. Her little office on campus had interesting and colorful artwork and the first thing I noticed was an animal medicine card deck on her bookshelf. I had the same one--given to me by my mom a couple of years prior. I spoke of my indecisiveness in declaring a major; not having felt intensely drawn to any particular subject. At that point I was planning on a degree in Theater Arts, but my desire for acting waned after my single success in a high school play several years before. Not so deep down I knew acting wasn't for me. Lila Faye was a great listener, she had a special way of being fully present to what felt like a life and death decision with equal parts sincere empathy and lighthearted perspective. She suggested that I take the Meyers-Briggs personality test to determine my type. When I brought the results to her she smiled and remarked: "INFJ, that's wonderful, it's the most rare type." At the time, being uncommon seemed to add to the anxiety of my situation and the description offered little in the way of specific decision making. She also invited me choose an animal card from her deck and although I cannot remember the animal, I do remember that its wisdom made more sense than the test! I ended up leaving the little liberal arts school in North Carolina and took a year off to seek clarity of path and purpose.

The Meyers-Briggs test is based on the work of Carl Jung and his extrapolation of four principle ways by which we experience the world and make decisions: sensation, intuition, feeling, perceiving. In addition to being either primarily introverted or extroverted, one of these four functions usually dominates. There are 16 different possible combinations of types. I took the personality test again recently and my type has not changed, but my understanding and appreciation of what the information can offer has definitely grown. For instance, as an INFJ (Introvert, intuitive, feeling, judging) type, I know that I take things in primarily through the mode of intuition and tend to choose something based on how it makes me feel. I appreciate order and a systematic way of learning. I prefer to work independently as ideas gestate and incubate; yet appreciate creative collaboration with like minded individuals to further develop an idea. I will safeguard my inner world and strive to create harmony wherever I am. Being aware of these nuances has helped me clarify the lifestyle that best suits me. 

At this point in my life, almost twenty years since I first took the test, I found myself sighing an exhale of relief. Knowing that my life's choices have been in alignment with who I am offers a deep sense of peace. The struggle that I felt in college was in believing that I needed to be someone else, that is, somehow fundamentally different. It's as though my ideas of what I thought I should be were going against the grain of who I really am. Hence, the uncomfortable rub. I think that if we are going to strive to live an authentic, soulful life we have to learn to love and accept our unique personalities. We have to find peace in simply "loving what the soft animal of the body loves" as Mary Oliver says. We can't overlook this basic aspect of who we are. Each type has its quirks and shadow qualities as well as its strengths to be cherished. 

Much of how I have come to learn about who I am comes from understanding and accepting what I am NOT. To be an actress I would have to be comfortable with continuously putting myself "out there" on stage to perform. In retrospect, I see that this would not have suited my personality; instead I would have preferred to be behind the scenes as a set decorator or even a director. Perhaps, more accurately, a writer. But definitely not a performer. My outer choice to become an actress was not in alignment with my personality that appreciates a more reflective form of creativity. And I think one of the biggest clues to my future path was in the very woman that suggested I take the test in the first place. Lila Faye, the warm sage guide with an office full of objects that spoke to my soul who, incidentally, was also an INFJ. 

After my hiatus, I returned to college and chose to study philosophy. It was the only academic environment where I found a central conversation around knowing yourself. Plato, through his character Socrates, uses the famous Greek maxim "Know Thyself" to drive many of the dialogues. Those works definitely paved a way toward my own unfolding. 

I lost touch with Lila Faye but count her among the handful of mentors that have appeared as angelic messengers during times of crisis to help remind me of who I am. Today I pulled the animal deck off the shelf and turned over the hummingbird card. It reads: "Your presence brings joy to others. You join people together in relationships which bring out the best in them. You know instinctively where beauty abides and, near or far, you journey to your ideal. You move comfortably within a beautiful life environment and help others taste the succulent nectar of life." The message lands like a blessing as I consider how far I have come to know and accept myself. It's as though the clues have been here all along, patiently waiting for me to notice. 

If you don't already know your type, here is a link to the test: 

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp
I really like the site below for its more detailed explanations of the types which include their accompanying archetype. For example, INFJ is considered "The Counselor" and ESTJ, "The Supervisor," etc.
http://www.truity.com/view/types

Another test that is helpful comes from the positive psychology web-site and is called "Authentic Happiness Inventory Questionnaire." I learned that my number one character strength is the "appreciation of beauty and excellence."
It says: "You notice and appreciate beauty, excellence, and/or skilled performance in all domains of life, from nature to art to mathematics to science to everyday experience." It has been empowering for me to accept this as one of my personal character strengths! This test will elucidate your top five character strengths and offer a short description of each:
http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/Default.aspx

Although it may not be a monumental discovery, you may recognize some particular facet of your personality that you have previously overlooked or a new perspective on a life issue may emerge. After you take it, consider if there are particular areas of incongruence in your life with respect to your type and reflect on how you may be able to begin to create a change. Perhaps you are in a relationship, personal or professional, with the opposite type and learning about the other type can help with communication issues or repetitive conflicts that often arise as a result of different types striving to unite. Usually these types of relationships provide great potential in growing beyond our comfort zones and cultivate the conditions for us to develop in ways that are less familiar. Ultimately, respecting who we are and living from that knowledge will serve your individual soul purpose and the world by adding to its diversity and beauty through the gift of being you!

A Personal Manifesto

One of the assignments that I completed recently for school was the creation of a personal manifesto. A manifesto is a declaration of your values, beliefs, and intentions. It was quite a powerful exercise in cultivating clarity and perspective. Creating a manifesto is a positive way to bring forth our inherent wisdom like a bright light that seems to put any habitual, everyday fears and doubts in perspective. 

I really liked what I read in one article on writing a manifesto--it said that the creation and sharing of it is like drawing a line in the sand between past and future. It is a very empowering way of saying "This is who I am, and this is what is important to me." It isn't wishful thinking--it is a clear and direct way of communicating the values for which we stand. 

I found that when I began the process, so much came to the surface and I felt as though I could write many pages! It is a work in progress but I have distilled my manifesto down to the top 20 most important values:

1) Ask the big questions first and allow yourself to live into the answers.

2) I believe in the unlimited power of Love--not as sentimentalism, but as a solvent alchemical force for healing and transformation.

3) Creativity is an essential aspect of being human. Becoming who you are is your art. Make at least one thing everyday. Begin anywhere.

4) Life is not rational--it's an utter mystery. Trust the process.

5) I don't believe in having to choose between being spiritual or materialistic--I believe in being magnanimous and kind either way.

6) Welcome challenge. Befriend uncertainty. Don't be afraid to try a gazillion different things until you clarify what you love.

7) I believe in the medicinal properties of nature, poetry, art and music--frequent doses of beauty will realign your molecules.

8) Move your body everyday. Send it love while you do.

9) I believe in the power of telling your story; not the reenactment of the drama.

10) Your deepest wound is your greatest gift to the world--learn to make it your ally. There really is nothing wrong with you.

11) Surrender is strength-make it the heart of your spiritual practice. Gratitude is the secret to happiness-make it a daily habit.

12) I believe that the world is our mirror and family relationships are a magnifying glass. Handle with care.

13) "Playing" your roles means not taking yourself so seriously. You are not what you do. You are not who other people think you are. You won't begin to know yourself until at least 30.

14) I believe in good alignment-not perfect balance.

15) Resistance isn't a barrier-it's a threshold. Crossing it will lead to greater freedom.

16) Always be involved in some type of learning. It will expand your reality.

17) Real honesty will remind you that you are just like everyone else and separate you from most.

18) You belong here. Let your true presence grow louder.

19) You can't do it alone-find others on which you can rely. 

20) Above all, believe in your soul longings-they are calling you to your unique destiny. Following your call won't be easy, but nothing will satisfy you as much.

This month I encourage you to write your own manifesto. Take some time with your journal and begin to invite your own life's wisdom and experience to speak. What do you know for sure? Who do you want to become? What is most important to you? Just let yourself write uncensored and see what begins to take shape. Then try to narrow it down to the most relevant nuggets. After you have completed it, try sharing it with someone and post it somewhere visible where you can be reminded of it each day. Your manifesto can serve as a potent guide for decision making and bringing you back to center when you feel lost. This process can be revisited as often as you like to add or amend what you've written and can also be tailored to your business or specific art. Have fun and notice what the process is like for you. I bet you know a whole lot more than you give yourself credit for! Enjoy!

Listening to Your Life

Don’t do what you sincerely don’t want to do. Never confuse movement with action. ~Ernest Hemingway

Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force…. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand. Ideas actually begin to grow within us and come to life. ~ Brenda Ueland



Happy New Year! I hope that your holidays were punctuated with moments of rest and joy. For me, rather than descend with a bang, 2014 seemed to slide in through hump day easily and gently. This time of year feels like a new beginning and a certain impetus  toward "self-improvement" is activated for many people. Gym memberships are reinstated, new healthy eating plans installed, and various other well intentioned resolutions are vowed. We make big plans for ourselves when a new year begins! 

For more than a decade my mom and I have participated in a ritual at the end of the year where we take an entire day together for what we call "Divine" planning. We light candles, pray, and set our intention to offer gratitude for the year that has passed and then open to receive our guidance for the new year. Together and separately we choose from our angel cards, write in our journals, make collages, and offer each other support in discerning an overall theme for the coming year. It has become an incredibly rich and special experience that we look forward to celebrating together. I find myself preparing a couple of weeks prior by going through my journals from the last year and noting all that transpired according to my intentions as well as honoring what did not take root. As I reviewed the past year I was in awe at how much had taken place within me. I felt myself fill with appreciation and wonder at the deep shifts that have occurred. Put simply: I feel more like myself. And when I thought about my intentions for the new year, I had the overwhelming feeling that I just want more of that--I long to simply invite more of my essence to occupy my everyday life. No big lifestyle changes, no "spiritual" agendas, no reaching for something to somehow improve my life. I just want to allow more of myself to emerge.

Parker Palmer wrote a book called Let Your Life Speak and it has become one of my top ten favorite books. The title comes from an old Quaker saying that eventually taught Palmer how to cultivate a more respectful approach to vocational life. He writes: "Before you tell your life what you intend to do with it, listen for what it intends to do to you. Before you tell your life what truths and values you have decided to live up to, let your life tell you what truths you embody, what values you represent." Read that again. This is a very different way to approach our lives than what we have been taught. I have come to understand it as a distinctly creative process in which our ego must undergo a profound transformation. In learning to listen to our lives, we refine our ability to let go of unnecessary drains of energy and practice living in the not-yetness of our potential. We confront the alive edge between our limitations and our longings and seek to reconcile the two. We cultivate a new relationship to "doing" that is based on moving from an inner alignment to our values, visions, and deeper knowing. Our action emerges from a ground of "being" that is connected to our Self. This, I believe, is how lasting change occurs.

In yoga there is a distinction made between movement and action. When we change positions--as in extending the arms or legs in some way, that is considered movement. But an action gets something done. For example, once in Warrior II pose I might say: press down evenly through both legs and feet, lift your ribcage away from your pelvis, from the center of your chest extend out through the bones of the arms and hands. . . . Actions bring the pose alive and bring a greater sense of awareness into the shape of the pose. It is an important way to integrate mind and body. It is how yoga can be experienced as a "meditation in motion." I have begun to consider how this distinction between movement and action can take place in my life "off the mat." How am I mistaking movement and action in my own life? What actions am I being called toward at this time? Is there something that needs to change *outwardly and/or what needs to be done *inwardly? Learning to listen in this way requires a shift in our very relationship with life--from one of willful control to artful action. When I am listening to my life I feel in the flow, part of something bigger, and responsive to to whatever arises as signs guiding my actions. A refined sensitivity develops and both feeling and knowledge pave the way forward. When I'm listening to my life I'm practicing openness and a softening of my barriers to what I believe I "know" unequivocally. I feel most in touch with my creativity--listening leads me to find where I am called and creates the conditions for me to move toward my longings. Even dead-ends, mistakes or failures provide an opportunity to hear, see, or distinguish more clearly our path. As Palmer relates, "a way closing" is often how life moves us away from what is not truly suited to our soul and toward what the life that is meant for us. It isn't always through open doors that revelation comes, but through the closures that permit us no further entry. 

Listening connects. It serves as a bridge between the Soul and self. It is the link between understanding and discovery of our truest desires and back into the center of our lives where we can creatively choose to express and communicate what we have heard. True listening changes us and the world of which we are a part. Actor Alan Alda articulates this beautifully:

The difference between listening and pretending to listen, I have discovered is enormous. One is fluid, the other is rigid. One is alive, the other is stuffed. Eventually, I found a radical way of thinking about listening. Real listening is a willingness to let the other person change you. When I'm willing to let them change me, something happens between us that is more interesting than a pair of dueling monologues. Like so much of what I learned in the theater, this turned out to be how life works, too. 

So what if we began this year spending some quiet time practicing listening to our precious life and ask to know what it would like for us? Let's consider what actions are necessary to create an inner alignment to our values and longings. I have recognized that true listening leads to deep feeling. And the willingness to feel--any/every shade or temperature--leads to a more direct and unfiltered experience of life. From this direct experience I am able to meet life more fully and I am free to accept or refuse to take its hands and let it lead me in the wild and wondrous dance. 

May your own unique calling be revealed as you journey through the days of this year!