Take my hand
'Cause we're walking out of here
Oh, right out of here
Love is all we need here
The Space Between
What's wrong and right
Is where you'll find me hiding, waiting for you
The Space Between
Your heart and mine
Is the space we'll fill with time
The Space Between...
~Dave Matthews Band
Whether we are aware of it or not, we spend most of our days acting as though we know so much. We live according to schedules, plans and goals; moving from one thing to another with a great deal of certainty in our activity. This provides a kind of homeostasis of security and shields us from the looming spaces of uncertainty. But what would it mean to stop; to feel the space between one known and another? What is it to linger in not knowing?
In the last few days while contemplating this month’s theme, I noticed how my mind jumped from one interesting topic to another and quickly began to sketch out the rough edges of a post. But as I let each idea go and continued to live with the unknown, I found myself confronting both fear and freedom. The illusion of certainty is that we believe that we are in control of our lives and the unfolding of its events. When I stop and look back over the course of a day, I can see how I move with this sense of knowing exactly what needs to be done next and I do it. Weeks and years follow this pattern. Of course there isn’t anything wrong with planning and goal setting and doing what needs to be done. However, the freedom that many of us long for, lies in our capacity to open to the mystery that lies within and beyond the limits of our knowing.
During a class that I am currently taking, we are being asked to contemplate and act upon the directive to “go where you haven’t gone.” What is it to venture into completely new corners of myself and the world? How do I even relate to going where I have never gone? If I haven’t been there, then how do I even know where to go or how to get there! It truly means that I am called to let go of all of the habitual ways that I have been conditioned to think and act and begin to carve out entirely new pathways. It pushes me into the groundlessness of not-knowing. I am learning to risk letting go of the very ways that I have relied on being “grounded” in a certain reality that keeps me safe and comfortable--one where I am always clinging to “I know.”
Rumi says, Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there. The freedom that exists when we are willing to let go of always needing to know, carries us into the heart of mystery. I am beginning to see that this is where creativity lives--in the boundless, vast sea of the unknown. Through our willingness to step into this space and surrender to its prayer for us, we are gifted with a direct experience of who we are and what is possible for us.
The month of December feels like an in between space to me. This year will soon be over and a new one will begin. For this month intend to spend some time in this place of not-knowing. Without too much force of will, allow the question- What does it mean for me to go where I haven’t gone- to rest in the "space between" with you.
The heart quality that can serve as a pole star to return to throughout the month is compassion. Be gentle with yourself as you walk your path and encounter new levels of fear or resistance. Take your time and linger with all that is yet to be known. Practice carrying the feeling of “I don’t know” into your work, relationships and personal life and continue to hold the door open for what is seeking to be made through your life.
