Illuminated: Lezlie Laws

I see the conscious creation of daily existence as a fascinating combining of experiences that sometimes results in a “product” (a painting, an essay, a flower), but most often result is the effect or sensation of the experience itself.  That “experience” is our LifeArt!

~Lezlie Laws

This month I am honored to be featuring a woman whose creative spirit is passionate and bold! When I first heard her name, I imagined a famous or fictional character that I immediately wanted to know more about. Lezlie Laws does, in fact, have a larger-than-life presence. Her voice is strong and her writing style harmonizes lightness with a razor sharp edge that knows how to trim the fat to get to the truth. That's because she has been practicing her art for a long time. She retired from a 24 year teaching career (English and Creative Writing) at Rollins College to enter into the field of creative entrepreneurship with her business Life Art Studio located in Winter Park, Florida. Also a yoga teacher, her work includes teaching public outdoor garden yoga classes, facilitating group workshops and retreats as well as private coaching for people longing to connect to their "original and deep potential." I have been inspired by Lezlie's work for years--I can remember shortly after my son was born (almost 10 years ago!) I spent an afternoon in one of her writing workshops and left feeling like I could breathe again. I was reminded that my creative spirit was still, and always is, an important part of me. She has a true gift for leading people directly into the heart of what is most vital and alive. 

Here is my interview with this inspiring and wholly dedicated artist: 

How do you define and describe your art?

I am a writer, and recently have taken up drawing and painting; I see my garden as an expression of a kind of artfulness, a way of using design, color, and texture to create an experience.  But in truth, I am not talented in any arena of artistic expression, although for most of my life I have been interested in (well, consumed by!) so many forms of what people call “art.” 

But these days, I’m using a term that Einstein coined:  combinatorial play.  I see the conscious creation of daily existence as a fascinating combining of experiences that sometimes results in a “product” (a painting, an essay, a flower), but most often result is the effect or sensation of the experience itself.  That “experience” is our LifeArt!

Have you always been creative or is it something you have grown into?

I think we are hardwired for creativity.  But many of us have thought of creativity as a special or unique capacity that only a precious few are blessed with.  (How many times have we heard someone say, “I don’t have a creative bone in my body.”)  But in truth, we are all blessed with creativity.  The degree to which it expresses is up to us.   At LifeArt Studio, our mission is to examine, cultivate, and encourage the skills and habits of mind that allow us to express ourselves in unique, pleasing, and artful ways. So yes, I have definitely grown into whatever creative qualities I may currently exhibit. I work at it daily!

Do you have any daily practices or self care rituals that you rely on to support your craft?

Absolutely.  I call them my Foundational Practices.  They are the habits that assure that each day I will be rested, focused, alert, healthy, calm and yet energized.  These qualities, when developed regularly, allow our innate creative spirit to rise up and seek expression.

So, every night I get 8-9 hours of sleep.  Then, every morning (365 days a year), I meditate, make bulletproof coffee, read in one of the great wisdom traditions, record my gratitudes, and then I turn to my writing.  This ritual takes about two hours, which I know sounds like a lot of time to give first thing in the morning. But, this set of morning practices aligns me with the core beliefs of my life and opens my spirit to receive the blessings of the day.  They make everything better, happier, and more creative.

How, if at all, has your art making cultivated the conditions for healing in your life? Can you give an example?

hmmmm.  I don’t think I have an answer for this.  I can say this, though.  I truly believe that destructive or bad behavior (no matter how trivial or abhorrent) grows out of the stunting of our profound need to express the ideas and feelings that we were brought to this earth to express.  This is why teaching children to understand and cultivate their creative capacities is so vital to our vitality as a species and as a community.  Creativity leads us toward wholeness, awareness, and joy.

What effect do you most want your art to have on your audience?

On one level, I have no concern about the effect of my art on an audience.  I do it to save myself, not to please someone else.  As I said earlier, I’m actually not very good at any of the forms of artful expression I practice.  But I love doing them.  These days, I am so much more interested in seeking out experiences that intrigue, provoke, and bring me joy than I am in producing something for “publication” or effect.
But on the other hand, since I consider the shaping of my life as an artful act, I want my “art” to profoundly affect others.  I want to connect honestly and authentically with each person before me.  I want my life to be of benefit to myself and to those I have the privilege of meeting and knowing.

Who or what currently inspires you?

I am completely in love with and inspired by my clients here at LifeArt Studio.  This probably sounds corny, but truly, I am in love with them.  I have the honor of working with so many people who are committing themselves to living their lives fully, passionately, and authentically.  And they are working hard at it.   They are building the skills and habits of mind necessary to “show up, grow up, and wake up,” as philosopher Ken Wilber says.  They are demonstrating courage in facing their obstacles; they are building resilience to move forward with hope; they are cultivating confidence in their innate capacities to grow, change, flourish, and create the lives they want.  Ohmygod, they are simply amazing, and I learn from them and grow with them every single day.  They inspire me!

What questions are alive for you now? Toward what experience or idea do you feel called to explore next in your creative journey?

One of the principles of the LifeArt protocol is surrender.  It’s a complex concept and one I don’t present to clients until I’ve worked with them for a while.  I am learning about and practicing surrender more and more these days.  It’s not a static practice, but one that emerges as we step more fully into our lives and gain more understanding about our purpose here on this little blue planet.  The more we surrender, the more creative we become.

Finally, what wisdom or particular suggestion would you offer to someone who is seeking to be more creative in their own lives?

Get as still as you can as often as you can by whatever means you can.  Meditation, quiet reflection, walking in nature, intentional observation, writing—there are many ways to get still, all of them nurturing our creative seeds.  Practice quieting the mind and accepting the moment exactly as it presents itself to you, over, and over, and over again. Each moment has its own wisdom, its own insight, its own direction.  In silence, we can allow what wants to rise up in us emerge, and see how our life—and our creativity—begin to deepen.   My mantra these days is, “I trust in this moment.”

Thank you Lezlie! 

"Most people go all the way through their lives without ever having a clue about what their deep mission is…" You can see Lezlie in action here sharing her mission and passion for inspiring others to be their best selves.  

Voice Lessons

"Songbird" by Jenny Clarke

Word by word, the language of women so often begins with a whisper.
~Terry Tempest Williams

I recently read a book that, within the first 20 pages, made it to my top ten favorite books: When Women Were Birds: Fifty Four Variations on Voice by Terry Tempest Williams. It is a memoir about the author’s mother, a devout wife and committed Mormon who gave permission for her daughter to read her journals only after her death. I learned that journal writing, in the form of documenting one’s life, is considered one of the obligations of being a Mormon woman. A week after her mother died, Williams ceremoniously removed a journal from the bookshelf and opened it to find, to her surprise and bewilderment, that it was blank. Three rows of journals--all blank. 

This fascinating discovery led Williams to write about the subject of women, power, silence, speaking out and to investigate the inquiry: What is voice? 

I think that this is such an important question for women to consider. Especially when it comes to what we aren’t saying. To become aware of what we withhold or resist speaking aloud for fear of being shut down, criticized, rejected or pigeonholed. There is a direct connection between our voices and our power--between speaking our truth and listening for where we are called. The word “voice” comes from the Latin voce which means “to call.” This suggests that there is a relationship between our ability to listen for what is most authentic and the courage to give voice to it as well. This "call and response" exchange is the way that we can begin to create a connection to our truth. It’s one thing to listen for our truth and another to speak it out loud. Williams writes about this saying, “Each one of us has one. Each voice is distinct and has something to say. Each voice deserves to be heard. But it requires this act of listening.”

Through my own participation and facilitation of group workshops for women I have learned that we have a deep fear of speaking and being seen--especially when it comes to our own truth. Women’s voices have been subverted for centuries. Often when we speak we do so at decibels that cannot be heard or understood: sometimes too soft or verbose; sometimes couching how we feel to accommodate another. Other times our responses are conditioned and habitual; lacking in variation or tone. Many times we rely on the words of someone more articulate or recognized to say what we wish we could have said ourselves and at other times we withhold our voice when we know we should have spoken up. I am guilty of all of these. Williams quotes the poet Muriel Rukeyser when asked the question: 

“What would happen if one woman told the truth about her life? 
The world would split open.” 

Think of a time when you have spoken truly, from your heart, without modifying your words or manipulating how they came out of your mouth. Can you remember how that felt in your body? For me, sometimes there is a sense of alignment: my spine lengthens, my feet and hips are grounded, my belly feels strong, supported and clear. I have nothing to prove or hide. It is as if I am receiving the words and then sending them out on my breath. At other times I feel my voice shake and crack--the words barely able to escape the narrow passage of my throat. What emerges feels like a little bird just learning that it can actually make a sound. I’m surprised and protective of what is spoken. Where are the places and what are the circumstances that allowed for your truth to emerge? Is it when you are alone or with one other person or several? What are you doing? Begin to become aware of when your voice feels most resonant and authentic as well as those times when there is dissonance and an incongruence between your words and your inner being. 

To this day the indigenous Maori people of New Zealand have one single ceremony for healing the members of their community. Whether the illness is physical, mental, emotional or spiritual, the ritual is the same: every member in the community forms a circle around the sick person and the healer of the tribe asks a single question: What are you not saying? The recipient takes as long as they need--hours or days to answer the question until the healing is complete. The healer reports a ninety-eight percent healing rate. This is both terrifying and incredible to me. 

This month I invite you to take some time to explore this theme of voice by practicing this exercise: begin to say everything out loud. First to yourself and then, perhaps, a trusted friend or partner. What scares you? What are you most afraid to say? What excites you--beckons to you? What, if you know you said it out loud, would absolutely begin to set in motion something that you really want?  

I'll share with you something I said out loud that felt vital for me: I am going to write a book on creativity and healing. I've thought about it for a long time. I have read SO MANY books on the subject. I have written a thesis on creativity. I am actively engaged in my own creative process. And I am discovering my own thoughts and ideas on the subject. I feel called to contribute my voice to the conversation.

In the beginning was the Word. The Word that set all creation into existence. That’s a very powerful statement and hints at the capability that we, as part of creation, have to act as translators and transmitters of that mysterious language.

What might happen if we actually begin to speak out loud what matters most to us? 

Perhaps the world would split open. . . 

And maybe then our words would find a home in a brand new creation. 




Wise Women of Clermont--I'd love for you to contribute your unique voice to a conversation that is growing in our community:
Beginning October 13th I will be starting another round of my Women's Wisdom Circle. It is a six week series on Tuesday evenings from 7:30-9:00pm at One Yoga and Fitness. This is a unique opportunity to join with other women in the spirit of true support and genuine connection. Each week serves up  a different discussion topic and creative explorations with a little yoga on the side. Group size limited to 10. For more details or to sign up follow me this way:)

the gift of clarity

I treasure the moments of my life when I am able to see clearly and feel a resonance between my heart’s longings and the flow of day to day life. For the past four months I have been nurturing the development of my work with the guidance and support of the expert team at Heart of Business. Their unique approach places the Divine at the center of the process and seeks to refine that personal connection more directly. The core teachings are spiritually based and practically focused on helping heart-centered entrepreneurs take the steps to build their work in the world. I have been gifted with insight and grace, both personally and professionally. I have learned how to connect with and relate to the heart of my business. This, in itself, has been a revelation: that my business, T{he}Art of Healing, has its own purpose and plan that I’m not entirely in control of, but most essentially, with which I’m invited into collaboration. I’ve been taught how to identify, very specifically, who I am called to serve and the means by which to deliver my medicine. 

I have been able to let go of the story that I’m not a “real” professional and feel a sense of true appreciation for the special gifts that I have been given along with the hard work and dedication that have produced many valuable accomplishments. I have discovered exactly who I LOVE to work with and kindly refer the others elsewhere. My offerings are being crafted with attention to detail and with an intention to create specific results. This clarity is cultivating a new level of confidence and ease in my body. Prior to my commitment to this work, I was deeply resistant to the notion of “selling myself.” Now I am much more willing to participate in the world marketplace as a professional who serves a higher purpose. 

What kind of clarity are you seeking? Clarity comes not only when we can see the bigger picture, but also when we are meticulous about taking care of the details. What specific details do you need to attend to currently? This month I invite you to allow the details to serve and support the larger vision of what you want to create in your life. 

This gift of clarity lives in the simple permission to show up more fully as myself each day, to offer what I've been given and receive the blessing of being in conversation with women who long to connect with their unique wisdom and radiance and create lives of authentic purpose. 

Sweet. Simple. Sacred. Clear. 

The Circle Way

Circle process is not a technique; it's a heritage. It is a way to be together that is familiar to people everywhere on the planet. ~Margaret Wheatley

This summer, for the first time in almost nine years, I was able to take a vacation that allowed for a full month of total rest and relaxation. It also served as a full circle experience. The trip brought me back to my roots in Upstate New York where I visited places and reconnected with people that I haven't seen in 35 years since moving to Florida. I was able to completely unplug from the busy routines of my life and settle into a slower pace with plenty of time to drink in the fresh, cool air from Lake Ontario, delight in the abundance of colorful wildflowers that line the country roads and bask in the long, light days of summer. It was exactly the medicine that I needed to restore myself and nourish my connection to my family. 

Another benefit of having so much free time was the ability to read and finish books that I have had for several months. One book that has inspired me to take action in my own life is called The Circle Way: A Leader in Every Chair. "Change the chairs and change the world," is the premise behind the work that Christina Baldwin and Ann Linnea have developed to bring the circle process to organizations, families and communities around the world to support healing and growth. 

Briefly, according to this methodology, the "circle process" functions under three principles of participation and three practices of council. The principles of participation are:

Rotating leadership--each person assumes particular functions or roles.

Sharing responsibility--rather than a single person dictating the experience, each person contributes to the needs of the group.

Reliance on wholeness--"Reliance on wholeness reminds people that the circle consists of all who are present and the presence of the circle itself." 

The practices of council are:

Attentive listening--the practice of remaining an open and non-judgmental listener is one way of making a contribution to the circle. 

Intentional speaking--the practice of speaking our truth without blame or judgement and contributing stories or information that have relevance to the subject.

Attending to the well being of the group--the practice of considering our motivations for what we choose to contribute and if our words and actions would benefit the group. 

Having participated in various sacred circles throughout my own life, I can attest to the power and healing that comes from being a part of a such a dynamic experience. The circle is one of the oldest symbols recognized by humans. Jung considered the circle the central archetype of the Self and a universal representation of wholeness. Everyone is considered equally valuable in a circle and according to the Native American tradition each person has a unique view of the center to which they can contribute their voice for a more complete understanding. 

Circle serves as a container that invites participation, collaborative conversation and the possibility for generating creative solutions to our challenges. This model represents a paradigm shift from the traditional patriarchal "top-down" approach to leadership to one with an emphasis on the feminine qualities of relationship, inclusivity, and creativity. Imagine if your next company or family meeting agreed to set an agenda based on these principles and practices. . . what might be possible?  

Perhaps you can find ways in your own life circles to implement some of these ideas.  For women seeking authentic connection and community in the Clermont area, I am extending a special invitation to you this month: 

Inspired by this work and an on-going desire to support women in expressing the fullness of who they are, beginning Tuesday August 25 I will be offering a six week Women's Wisdom Circle at One Yoga and Fitness to combine the elements of the circle process along with an integrative yoga practice. Each week will offer a different topic or inquiry to stimulate personal reflection and soulful conversation. For more details or to register: https://clients.mindbodyonline.com/classic/admhome?studioid=22881 
The group size will be limited to 10 women so if this offering speaks to you I highly encourage you to sign up today!  

We are all longing to go home to some place we have never been - a place half-remembered and half-envisioned we can only catch glimpses of from time to time. Community. Somewhere, there are people to whom we can speak with passion without having the words catch in our throats. Somewhere a circle of hands will open to receive us, eyes will light up as we enter, voices will celebrate with us whenever we come into our own power. Community means strength that joins our strength to do the work that needs to be done. Arms to hold us when we falter. A circle of healing. A circle of friends. Someplace where we can be free. ~Starhawk

Illuminated: Brandon Thompson

"I write out my own explorations; my own confusions. I write through my experiences of suffering. One core aspect of Buddhism that I hold very near and dear to my heart is the idea that suffering is Universal. It may be so that our storylines are very different, but this is nothing more than a trick, a thin veil that obstructs the truth: as One People, all across this world, we are simply hoping to achieve happiness and to avoid suffering." ~Brandon Thompson



Welcome to July! It's hard to believe that we are already at the midpoint of the year. My family and I are enjoying a month long hiatus in a little town in Upstate New York in a cottage on Lake Ontario. It is a welcome reprieve from the Florida heat and I am grateful for the retreat from our regular routine to restore and recharge. This time is truly about letting go of the work which I have been so intensely involved over the last year in order to allow the space for only relaxation and play! 

This month on the blog I am overjoyed to illuminate a beloved friend and artist, Brandon Thompson. I consider Brandon to be a true warrior of the heart. By that, I am referring to the definition of warriorship that Chogyam Trungpa elucidates in the tradition of Shambhala Buddhism: "Warriorship here does not refer to making war on others. Aggression is the source of our problems, not the solution. Here the word “warrior” is taken from the Tibetan 'pawo', which literally means “one who is brave.”  In addition to his courage, I admire the ease with which Brandon is able to adapt and find home in any environment, whether drinking beer and playing cards or delivering a dharma talk before meditation. His support and guidance during my graduate program was like a true beacon of light from beginning to end. I'm honored to have him featured as this month's guest artist. 

How do you define and describe your art?

I suppose most everyone would say that I’m a poet. And there’s surely no doubt about that. Words are my medium. Words are my love. But if I am being honest with myself, I find that I prefer to identify myself as an artist. Just an artist, no more and no less. This perspective seems to really broaden the scope, doesn’t it? This way, I include myself in the vast and beautiful circle of artists all over the globe, no matter how they’re called to express themselves. I’m a part of their mandala and they’re a part of mine. We’re all the same, anyway, just travelers on the path of self-expression, no matter what that looks like for us individually. 

More specifically, for the past few years and into the foreseeable future, I’ve really found myself on the path of the ecstatic poet. What is ecstatic poetry? I have my ideas about that, and we can talk about them later on if it feels right. The pith of it feels to me like poetry-as-practice, poetry as a means of really connecting us to our essence. Have you ever read a poem and it feels, in your body and in your heart, like you’ve heard exactly what you needed to hear in that moment? That feeling of “mmmmmmm” that makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up? A message that informs you in some way about your Path, about your heart? That’s an ecstatic experience, and you’ve just read an ecstatic poem. In my writing, I hope to capture this transformative spirit of embracing the path and dancing with mystery.


Have you always been creative or is it something you have grown into?

Music was my first path in to the creative. I was singing from about the time I could talk, I suppose. My parents put me in voice lessons with a teacher from the local University before I was tall enough to read the music on her piano stand. I studied music academically in college and trained as a classical singer, mostly opera, with some jazz thrown in, just for fun. I always connected with writing in a pretty major way, but didn’t discover that I wanted to write – poetry especially – until well into adulthood. 


Do you have any daily practices or self care rituals that you rely on to support your craft?

I don’t think there’s any doubt that my writing is influenced by Buddhism. I’ve been a Buddhist practitioner for fifteen years now and a Buddhist teacher – in the Mahayana tradition – since 2007. If you trace ecstatic poetry back to its roots, most scholars agree that it comes from Sufism, the mystical branch of Islam, from the Great Masters like Rumi and Hafez. Buddhism is definitely a different tradition than Sufism, but the Paths are similar in many, many ways. There’s a certain type of spaciousness of mind that the meditator can find on the cushion, a softer way of relating to ego and to the daily trials and pitfalls of human living. The idea of most spiritual practices, not just Buddhism, is to apply that gentler relationship to one’s life off-the-cushion: to relate to others with deeper compassion, to come to understand and make friends with our past conditioning, our egoic selves, and to learn to move past this place over time. To go back to my ideas about ecstatic poetry, Buddhism and other spiritual practices are geared towards connecting us more deeply with our essences, with Awakened Mind, Big Heart, what meditation master Chögyam Trungpa, Rinpoche calls our “basic goodness” or “basic sanity.” I’d like to hope that my writing comes from a place of stillness, even when I’m writing about the “trickier” things in life like love, relationship, mystery, and spiritual exploration. It all feels like it comes from my essence, and I offer it so happily to others who are fostering a deeper relationship with theirs. 


How, if at all, has your art making cultivated the conditions for healing in your life? Can you give an example?

I think it would be totally true to say that my art is one of the most profoundly-healing forces in my life. Oftentimes I write when I’m inspired, when I’m moved by the simplicity or the beauty of the world, when I’m touched by spiritual practice, or to offer a small teaching about something that I’ve learned about my path. However, even more than this, I write out my own explorations, my own confusions. I write through my experiences of suffering. One core aspect of Buddhism that I hold very near and dear to my heart is the idea that suffering is Universal. It may be so that our storylines are very different, but this is nothing more than a trick, a thin veil that obstructs the truth: as One People, all across this world, we are simply hoping to achieve happiness and to avoid suffering. The interesting part about this is that the more we move away from suffering, the more we struggle against it, the more susceptible to suffering we actually become.  I wrote a poem once called “hymn to misery” that has become one of the most practice-oriented ecstatic poems in my collection. The basic notion behind it is that our experiences of suffering can be our teachers. If we can just find a way to cease our white-knuckle grip on the steering wheel of life and open to the rawness, the vulnerability of suffering, almost like magic, we find that there is great big wisdom on the other side. We find that we’re transformed, happier, gentler. Buddhism provides us a set of tools to accomplish this. The practice of ecstatic poetry, when joined with our own spiritual practice or sincere intention, can do the very same. Here’s a link to a brief teaching and a reading of "hymn to misery" that I share on my website.

What effect do you most want your art to have on your audience?

I wrote a dedication for the introduction of my first book, “The Long Road Home.” My second book will be coming out in late summer, here in just a couple of months, and I have the task of coming up with a new dedication, a new way to say what effect I hope that my poetry will have on others. But for the life of me, I still haven’t come up with a better way to express my hopes and dreams for this writing as it journeys throughout the world. Maybe it will just stay the same. The dedication reads:

for those on the path of illumination

for those on the path of love

and for those hoping to one day walk both

with ease and gentleness

this is for you

Who or what currently inspires you?

At the core of my inspiration is the work of the ecstatic masters like Rumi and Hafez. Their work is so completely profound and transformative that I can scarce believe that they were actual, living human beings who once walked the same Earth that I walk. I also owe such tremendous gratitude to Buddhist teachers such as Chögyam Trungpa, Rinpoche, the founder of Shambhala Buddhism, and two of his students, John Welwood and Pema Chödrön, whose work has been absolutely instrumental in the shaping of my mind and the softening of my heart. Other poets are too numerous to mention, but among them are Thich Nhat Hanh, Pablo Neruda, Mary Oliver, and M. Truman Cooper.

My current favorite living poet happens to be a dear and treasured friend of mine, Joseph Montgomery. I’m so fortunate to say that we are contemporaries, brothers on the journey of ecstatic poetry as it is being born more fully into the consciousness of our culture. His idea of the “Rhapsody of Art” has inspired me to embrace my own life as an artist, and his writing is like modern-day Rumi that absolutely nourishes the soul. You can read more about Joseph and his work at www.rhapsodyofart.com


What questions are alive for you now? Toward what experience or idea do you feel called to explore next in your creative journey?

I absolutely love this question. I suppose that’s because I love questions in general. I feel like I have a maddening, almost obsessive relationship with the Big Questions of human living. What is consciousness and where does it come from? Why do we love the ones we love? What does it take to Awaken? More pointedly and involving my art: what is an ecstatic poem and how does it connect us with the Divine, with our essence? These are the questions that keep me up at night on my back porch, my pacing shadow cast by the porch light onto the grass below. In my second book, I’ve explored these ideas in a pretty major way. In fact, there’s a whole section in the book that I’ve called “The Riddle.” I think it will really show the reader how I’ve been grappling with these questions. There are no answers; I certainly don’t profess to have any of them. But I have some ideas that are moving through me, and I really can’t wait to see what others have to say about them. 


Finally, what wisdom or particular suggestion would you offer to someone who is seeking to be more creative in their own lives?

Create. Every single day. Make time, with intention, to create. It doesn’t matter what your medium is. Whatever makes you feel most fulfilled, most filled-up, most inspired, most excited, that’s it. PLAY! Have fun! Share your work with others, even if it’s just close friends and loved ones. Oh, and most importantly of all: don’t take your creating (or yourself!) too seriously. Gentleness, gentleness, gentleness and levity are the keys to softening our hearts and relating to our worlds with spontaneity, joy, and gratitude. 


Thank you Brandon!

Brandon Thompson is a poet, a scholar, a musician and a lover of music, and a Buddhist practitioner and teacher. He is an Associate Core Faculty Member in Sofia University’s Hybrid: Face-to-Face/Online Master's program, and spends his days joyfully guiding and humbly mentoring students from all over the world. Brandon has been a student of Mahayana Buddhism since 1999, and has taught in this tradition since taking his bodhisattva vow in the summer of 2007. He finds his home practices in lojong (mind training) and tonglen (sending and taking) meditation, first prescribed by the Buddhist sage Shantideva in the 8th century.  In addition to this, Brandon has published a book of ecstatic poetry entitled “The Long Road Home: A Collection of Poems from an Open Heart,” currently in its Second Edition. His second collection of poetry, "From the Back of a Thirsty Camel," will be released summer 2015. He regularly facilitates ecstatic poetry workshops across the United States. 

Brandon's current work involves bringing ecstatic poetry more fully into his life and into the world. Through his publications, scholarly writing, teaching, and workshops, Brandon is seeking to share the transformative power of ecstatic poetry with others and to further define and engage the power of this ancient contemplative art form. His first book of poetry The Long Road Home can be found on Amazon.

You can stay connected to Brandon through his Facebook page: Brandon Thompson, Ecstatic Poet and website http://www.brandonthompsonauthor.com/about-brandon/ 

The Alchemy of Asking: Learning the Language of Help

One of the greatest barriers to connection is the cultural importance we place on "going it alone." Somehow we've come to equate success with not needing anyone. Many of us are willing to extend a helping hand, but we're very reluctant to reach out for help when we need it ourselves. It's as if we've divided the world into "those who offer help" and "those who need help." The truth is that we are both.
~Brene Brown

There is a widespread myth in our culture that suggests that asking for help means that we are needy, weak and powerless. I propose that a shift needs to be made in how we perceive asking for help and what it really means for us to receive support. Last month I had the good fortune of spending a weekend with poet and teacher Mark Nepo to explore some of the teachings in his new book called The Endless Practice: Becoming Who You Were Born To Be. One of the paradoxes that we explored was the challenge to “have the courage to ask for what we need, only to practice accepting what we’re given.” 

It’s relatively easy to ask for help when our problem is physically or externally related. If our car isn’t running well, for example, we take it to a mechanic or if our teeth are bothering us, we pay a visit to the dentist. It gets more tricky when we are struggling with an emotional, psychological or even spiritual challenge. We can feel scared, lost, confused or overwhelmed and in need of help to honor the inner work that we are being called toward. When dealing with the uncertainty of personal challenge and life transition it can be difficult to clearly understand exactly what we need; thus making it impossible to ask for specific help.

When working with clients in my coaching practice, I first help them with this process of clarifying their needs. Here are a few questions to ask in order to identify the particular kind of support that would be most helpful:

Where am I right now? 

When we consider our lives as a series of cycles, we are better able to recognize which season we are currently experiencing. We all live through periods of loss, regeneration and new growth. This is a common phenomenon that relates not only to the natural world, but to our own growth process as well. What season do you currently find yourself in? Have you recently suffered a loss of some kind such as death, divorce or illness? Perhaps you are in the early stages of a relationship or project? Maybe you are traversing "the Middleland" --the desert of transition between loss and new growth where nothing seems to be happening either outwardly or inwardly. Simply recognizing where we are in the cycle can offer some perspective to where we are headed and the kind of support that will be required.

What’s the problem? 

Once we identify which season we are in, our attention can shift to the particular challenge or difficulty that we are facing. Every problem has a purpose. Our personal work is to uncover the deeper calling. In a season of loss, for example, we may be experiencing anger or grief that surfaces when we lose something that has been important to us. Vulnerability, excitement and fear may arise when we are beginning a new project or relationship. Confusion, loss of hope or lack of clear vision may envelop us when we are in the desert phase of transition. We may find ourselves in different phases of the cycle as we consider the various aspects of our lives. Depending on where we are in any given area of our lives, we will be experiencing some particular flavor of blessing/challenge along with specific needs that arise. The Buddhist nun Pema Chodron says, “We think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don't really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It's just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.” So which is true for you now--are you falling apart or together?

What do I need?

When you have a sense of where you are and the specific nature of your difficulty or challenge, you can ask the question--what do I really need now? Aside from more severe psychological disturbances that may require medical treatment options, a few responses might be: 

Witnessing--One of the most powerful things we do for one another is to simply “hold space” and listen. Witnessing involves showing up with our full presence and opening to meet another exactly as they are. The one holding space brings  compassion and empathy to the relationship. Without a need to fix or change anything, witnessing honors the ability of another to engage in their own process fully and develops trust in allowing their experience to lead the way forward. Most importantly it provides permission for both people to honor whatever the experience holds without expectation or attachment to a certain outcome.

Acknowledgment and reflection--It is tremendously helpful to hear our own thoughts, words and feelings mirrored back to us. Active listening involves both witnessing and reflecting back what we have heard. Again, the intention is not to change the other person, but rather to hold up their truth with empathy and allow them to witness it from the vantage point of another human being. Often it feels like enough to be seen and heard in this way and fulfills an emotional connection that we need during both exciting and difficult times of change. 

Feedback--Sometimes we not only want to be witnessed and acknowledged, but also given feedback on our situation or life circumstance. Giving feedback is different from giving advice in that it involves the skill and experience of both the giver and receiver. Feedback might involve asking questions to help clarify the situation and provide a space for the one giving feedback to share their unique perspective when appropriate. There is no “right or wrong” when it comes to giving feedback--just that it is relevant to the one asking and authentic to the one giving. Ultimately the one asking is responsible in discerning what fits for them.

Guidance--Guidance is similar to feedback in that it requires a mutually respectful relationship between two people. Like a teacher/student partnership, one is in search of some particular understanding or experience and relies on the expertise and knowledge of the other to move toward that desired end. This type of alliance requires both safety and trust and is one of the most delicate relationships. It is important that when seeking guidance you always check it with your own heart. I am in favor of helping others connect to their own inner guidance rather than relying totally on another human being. In this way, the one helping relies on the natural ability of the one asking to find their own answers. At the deepest level every “problem” also contains its own “answer.” Directing someone to their own heart and intuitive guidance is both extremely effective and empowering. All of the best teachers and guides really only open the way to our own deep inner knowing. 

Accountability--In order to follow through on what is most important to us, sometimes it’s helpful to step into the framework of accountability. Knowing that we are ultimately responsible for taking the action in our lives that will move us forward, it's too easy to let ourselves off the hook when left to our own devices. However, when we have someone to check-in with regularly, it is much easier to stay on track. Having someone that we are accountable to keeps us honest and aligned with our greatest values and visions. 

Who can best help me?

Now that you have a better sense of where you are, what your problem is, and what, specifically, you need, you can turn to the question of who can best help? If what you need is someone to just listen, then maybe a close friend or therapist is the answer. Maybe you are needing some clarity, guidance or direction, in which case a life coach, spiritual guide or teacher may best serve you. Depending on your situation any combination of counselors, ministers, therapists, healers, teachers, coaches, partners, mentors, friends, animals, the natural world, solitude, books, workshops/retreats, classes, etc. can all provide a great amount of support. Keep seeking out what you need until you find it--sometimes it takes a fair amount of experimentation before we find the right combination of support.

The truth is that we ALL need help and cannot do this life alone. The wondrous alchemy of asking is that, as Mark Nepo taught, through the courageous act of asking itself we are often shown what we are made of. That kind of courage is its own reward. What we receive is not always as important as what we gain from becoming aware of what we need and then making a request.  Also, as I have personally witnessed, through the process of asking and receiving we get to discover things about ourselves that we may not learn in any other way.  It pushes us toward cultivating relationships and into greater intimacy--not just with another person--but with ourselves through the very thing that we are needing. Our own need contains the exact ingredients for its fulfillment. Asking for help is nourishing for all involved when the giving and receiving can be seen as a life-affirming exchange of energy rather than a tit-for-tat transaction. It's time to see our needs as guides to our own self-empowerment through relationship rather than weaknesses that decrease our personal value as individuals. I love this Ted talk by the musician Amanda Palmer who has made  asking an art form and platform for her work. In it she says "When you connect with people, they want to help you." Do you believe this is true? 

Your invitation this month is to take some time to answer these questions for yourself and then have the courage to ask for help in some way. Notice what you discover in the process and then be willing to accept what you are given!

Illuminated: Stephanee Howell

"Soul tending comes through my art, through the questioning, intuitive inquiry, and exploration of my visual journaling. Art is healing. This source of the creative spark, the soul’s creative process, feels like a gift from the dark and the light." 

~Stephanee Howell

Welcome to Illuminated, a feature that I am excited to be offering as a source of inspiration for all of us following the call to live authentic, creative lives. This month I shine the spotlight on a beloved friend, fellow yogini, photographer and mixed media artist Stephanee Howell. I met Stephanee in graduate school and had the privilege of witnessing her soul-work emerge and evolve during our two year program. I credit her with inspiring and supporting my own interest in mixed media art making which has developed into a full-on passion! Stephanee is one of the most genuine, quietly present and deeply soulful people I have ever met. Her daily blog, Make Believe Boutique, offers a unique blend of beauty, wisdom, wildness, encouragement and rest. I return to it each morning as a way of filling my own well and nurturing my spirit. Stephanee is devoted to the on-going art of becoming true to her gifts and sharing them generously with everyone in her life. I am truly honored and grateful to know and be known by this luminous woman. 

Meet Stephanee:

How do you define and describe your art?

I see myself living a creative life, bringing creativity to the everyday. For me, it is about the process, rather than the outcome. There is a concept called “duende,” that speaks to me deeply. This Spanish word, meaning inspiration or passion, is at the core of my artistic process. Creativity, the creative process, making art, finding my voice~ all of it is about living authentically and with a sweetness and curiosity toward living fully. 
Making art has evolved into a contemplative, spiritual practice for me. I primarily love visual journaling and making altered books. Photography is integral to all of my art and my everyday explorations. I also love assemblage~ making boxes and shrines. Sketching, painting, and collage all have a place in my studio. Poetry is the thread that weaves through all of my work, words that are the truest and most sustaining power of life’s creative energy. 

Have you always been creative or is it something you have grown into?

I have been creating and living in imaginary worlds forever. It is my truest home. Deep imagination and play are sacred tools of seeing and perceiving, inviting in an essence of moving through time in a non-linear way. As a child, I spent many hours creating imaginary playmates, reading, playing in fairy-lands in the woods, and daydreaming. To live in this essence is simple really. But over a lifetime, it is easy to censor and become discouraged with expectations and doubt. My gift has been to nurture wonderment and a sacred trust in the land of make-believe.

Do you have any daily practices or self care rituals that you rely on to support your craft?

Absolutely. I need prayer. Gratitude practices. Mindfulness practices. Grace. I study and practice yoga as a living art. Being in nature regularly and intentionally. Meditation practice morning and night. Visual journaling became a spiritual discipline during my graduate work at Sofia University, studying the creative process through a transpersonal lens. This practice forever integrated the mundane and the sacred in my life. Nothing may be as healing and as grounding as a pause in the day with my old cat. My old fur friend holds all questions and unfinished expression.

How, if at all, has your art making cultivated the conditions for healing in your life? Can you give an example?

There are so many~  The most recent centers around the death of my mom. I light a candle for her everyday. Soul tending comes through my art, through the questioning, intuitive inquiry, and exploration of my visual journaling. Art is healing. This source of the creative spark, the soul’s creative process, feels like a gift from the dark and the light. I intuitively respond to this paradoxical mix of creation and destruction. Awareness and inner knowing are like a descending spiral, resisting definition at every turn, and can only be accessed through metaphor and poetic reflection.

What effect do you most want your art to have on your audience?

Art and service and yoga all interweave and offer a way of self-reflection that is compassionate and full of the integral beauty of our lives. How can we access that? 

Who or what currently inspires you?

Contemplative art as a spiritual practice, living and breathing and being fed through service to “something greater” is at the core of my work. I teach yoga to cancer patients, survivors and caregivers. I offer yoga/art workshops. I am studying yoga therapy. I am a Hospice volunteer and a Lay Pastoral Care Counselor through the Unitarian Church. All of this work feeds the art. The art as a spiritual practice feeds the work. 
And oh, I find inspiration in everything! I am intrigued by iphonography and am diving into it, blending it in my mixed media work. This medium integrates all that is happening, without words, into a fine triptych of life (past, present, future). I am fascinated by the many creative souls connecting through social media, giving workshops and rediscovering soul work~ skeptical about how I could offer my work, but interested. 

What questions are alive for you now? Toward what experience or idea do you feel called to explore next in your creative journey?

I am deeply inquiring into the blend of yoga and art, offering workshops that integrate these practices into daily processes and practicalities. As a facilitator, I create space for a resurrection and rekindling of life as the ultimate creative act. I ask questions. What does it really mean to be true to oneself? What does the inner heart have to say to you? I seek to honor the ordinary awakening in each moment, step by step with amazement and deep attention. I encourage playfulness with the miraculous and wildly rich inner life that emerges within the day-to-day routine. This soul matrix is about being fit and fearless as a soul warrior with an unsung originality and fierce expressive expansion.

Finally, what wisdom or particular suggestion would you offer to someone who is seeking to be more creative in their own lives?

Follow those little impulses to “create as you go~” those moments in your day when you need a certain color, a store window calls to you, a soft shawl speaks to you. These are little secrets from your soul, whispering. Don’t worry so much about sitting down at a blank white page, thinking that you need to learn how to paint. It’s much more. Lean into living a bit more fully and richly. Be in the moments of your life, especially the muck and the messiness. It’s beautiful there.

Thank you Stephanee!

To learn more about Stephanee's work, visit her web-site: http://makebelieveboutique.com

and check out her professional profile: 

https://pathbrite.com/inbluesky