Spiritual Bypass

 

         Many of us embark on a spiritual path as a way of seeking meaning in our lives for the pain and suffering we feel both personally and in the larger world. Without a spiritual context, we can easily fall into an existential despair that deepens the suffering and immobilizes our mind and body. Each of us longs to be free from this kind of discomfort and spiritual pursuit offers a way through the confusion. However, the very source of our comfort may also be disguised as a trap door to deeper levels of abandonment-namely, to ourselves, the world and our obligations to serve humanity in a way that fosters liberation.

“Spiritual Bypass” is the term given to this use of spirituality that offers an escape from the tension inherent in our everyday lives. Rather than letting our lives be guided and informed by our spiritual practice, we use spirituality as a way of buffering ourselves from the difficulties in living. Instead of using the teachings from sacred traditions like a light that must be brought into the depths of our darkness, we deny our shadows and pretend that the light is all that exists. Used in these ways, spirituality is no different from other modes of anesthetizing our pain—drugs, food, sex, shopping, intellectualizing, spiritualizing…. What they all have in common is an ego that would rather do anything than face what hurts.

I am intimately familiar with this desire to replace living fully in this world with the seduction of existing in some other realm that feels less dense, dark and difficult. I am guilty of using spirituality in this way and I am working on addressing the underlying issues that have led to my own bypass. I recognize that this is a big issue for many seekers that are genuinely longing for a connection that transcends the corporeal. However, if we do not find very concrete ways of applying our discoveries, we risk creating a greater divide that will only cause more pain. This is why, I now believe, combining psychological therapy and spiritual practice is of the most benefit. Sometimes praying more, meditating longer, or going on yet another retreat is not enough. We have to face the issues that keep us bound and limited.

In an article I read recently on psychoanalysis and Buddhism, called Becoming Somebody and Nobody, (1993) the author—John Engler writes:

 

The therapeutic issue in psychotherapy and psychoanalysis is how to “regrow” a basic sense of self or how to differentiate and integrate a stable, consistent, and enduring self-representation. The therapeutic issue in Buddhism is how to “see through” the illusion or construct of the self. Are the two therapeutic goals mutually exclusive, as they appear to be? Or from a wider perspective might they actually be compatible? Indeed, might one be a precondition of the other…? Put very simply, you have to be somebody before you can be nobody. (119, italics mine)     

 
I think this is such an important point that is often missing in spiritual circles where people claim to have evolved beyond the issues of the ego. In reality, many have actually done little but bypass it entirely. We see this all the time in spiritual leaders that fall from grace after some incident often including one of the “lower” levels of consciousness (money, sex, and power) is uncovered. Perhaps, as Engler states, before we attempt to transcend our ego, we must first develop a healthy sense of self. Developmentally, just as a baby must first learn to crawl before it can walk, we must allow ourselves the proper time to develop spiritually as well. That means we need to attend to our suffering with the help of spirituality, but not as a way of covering it up. The function of psychotherapy is to help create a sense of inner cohesiveness by way of understanding our pathologies. In this view, where therapy ends--spirituality begins. However, it is not a linear process,—an evolution of consciousness involves a circling back many times to deeply held psychological issues with, perhaps, deeper insight. In fact, for some, it can be dangerous to embark on a spiritual path if a healthy sense of self has yet to be defined. It could lead to a spiritual crisis or emergency (another subject that I will expand on in the future) causing greater fragmentation and distress.

Is your mode of spirituality one that continually returns you back into this world or are you looking to escape? What are the ways in which you are able to apply your practice to your life? Are there any specific psychological issues present that need to be addressed? These are a few questions we can begin to ask ourselves regularly to keep us on track as we move forward on our path.

Here is Hafiz, the Sufi poet, pointing the way:

 

WISE MEN KEEP TALKING ABOUT

Time is the shop

Where everyone works hard

 

To build enough love

To break the

Shackle.

 

Wise men keep talking about

Wanting to meet Her.

 

Women sometimes pronounce the word God

A little differently:

They can use more feeling and skill

With the heart-lute.

 

All the world’s movement’s

Apparent chaos, and suffering I now know happen

In the Splendid Unison:

 

Our tambourines are striking

The same thigh.

 

Hafiz stands

At a juncture in this poem.

There are a thousand new wheels I could craft

On a wagon

And place you in—

Lead you to a glimpse of the culture

And seasons in another dimension.

 

Yet again God

Will have to drop you back at the shop

 

Where you will still have work

With

 

Love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Engler, J. H. (1993). Becoming Somebody and Nobody: Psychoanalysis and Buddhism. In R. Walsh, Paths Beyond Ego The Transpersonal Vision (pp. 118-121). Los Angeles: Jeremy P. Tarcher.