The Alchemy of Asking: Learning the Language of Help

One of the greatest barriers to connection is the cultural importance we place on "going it alone." Somehow we've come to equate success with not needing anyone. Many of us are willing to extend a helping hand, but we're very reluctant to reach out for help when we need it ourselves. It's as if we've divided the world into "those who offer help" and "those who need help." The truth is that we are both.
~Brene Brown

There is a widespread myth in our culture that suggests that asking for help means that we are needy, weak and powerless. I propose that a shift needs to be made in how we perceive asking for help and what it really means for us to receive support. Last month I had the good fortune of spending a weekend with poet and teacher Mark Nepo to explore some of the teachings in his new book called The Endless Practice: Becoming Who You Were Born To Be. One of the paradoxes that we explored was the challenge to “have the courage to ask for what we need, only to practice accepting what we’re given.” 

It’s relatively easy to ask for help when our problem is physically or externally related. If our car isn’t running well, for example, we take it to a mechanic or if our teeth are bothering us, we pay a visit to the dentist. It gets more tricky when we are struggling with an emotional, psychological or even spiritual challenge. We can feel scared, lost, confused or overwhelmed and in need of help to honor the inner work that we are being called toward. When dealing with the uncertainty of personal challenge and life transition it can be difficult to clearly understand exactly what we need; thus making it impossible to ask for specific help.

When working with clients in my coaching practice, I first help them with this process of clarifying their needs. Here are a few questions to ask in order to identify the particular kind of support that would be most helpful:

Where am I right now? 

When we consider our lives as a series of cycles, we are better able to recognize which season we are currently experiencing. We all live through periods of loss, regeneration and new growth. This is a common phenomenon that relates not only to the natural world, but to our own growth process as well. What season do you currently find yourself in? Have you recently suffered a loss of some kind such as death, divorce or illness? Perhaps you are in the early stages of a relationship or project? Maybe you are traversing "the Middleland" --the desert of transition between loss and new growth where nothing seems to be happening either outwardly or inwardly. Simply recognizing where we are in the cycle can offer some perspective to where we are headed and the kind of support that will be required.

What’s the problem? 

Once we identify which season we are in, our attention can shift to the particular challenge or difficulty that we are facing. Every problem has a purpose. Our personal work is to uncover the deeper calling. In a season of loss, for example, we may be experiencing anger or grief that surfaces when we lose something that has been important to us. Vulnerability, excitement and fear may arise when we are beginning a new project or relationship. Confusion, loss of hope or lack of clear vision may envelop us when we are in the desert phase of transition. We may find ourselves in different phases of the cycle as we consider the various aspects of our lives. Depending on where we are in any given area of our lives, we will be experiencing some particular flavor of blessing/challenge along with specific needs that arise. The Buddhist nun Pema Chodron says, “We think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don't really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It's just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.” So which is true for you now--are you falling apart or together?

What do I need?

When you have a sense of where you are and the specific nature of your difficulty or challenge, you can ask the question--what do I really need now? Aside from more severe psychological disturbances that may require medical treatment options, a few responses might be: 

Witnessing--One of the most powerful things we do for one another is to simply “hold space” and listen. Witnessing involves showing up with our full presence and opening to meet another exactly as they are. The one holding space brings  compassion and empathy to the relationship. Without a need to fix or change anything, witnessing honors the ability of another to engage in their own process fully and develops trust in allowing their experience to lead the way forward. Most importantly it provides permission for both people to honor whatever the experience holds without expectation or attachment to a certain outcome.

Acknowledgment and reflection--It is tremendously helpful to hear our own thoughts, words and feelings mirrored back to us. Active listening involves both witnessing and reflecting back what we have heard. Again, the intention is not to change the other person, but rather to hold up their truth with empathy and allow them to witness it from the vantage point of another human being. Often it feels like enough to be seen and heard in this way and fulfills an emotional connection that we need during both exciting and difficult times of change. 

Feedback--Sometimes we not only want to be witnessed and acknowledged, but also given feedback on our situation or life circumstance. Giving feedback is different from giving advice in that it involves the skill and experience of both the giver and receiver. Feedback might involve asking questions to help clarify the situation and provide a space for the one giving feedback to share their unique perspective when appropriate. There is no “right or wrong” when it comes to giving feedback--just that it is relevant to the one asking and authentic to the one giving. Ultimately the one asking is responsible in discerning what fits for them.

Guidance--Guidance is similar to feedback in that it requires a mutually respectful relationship between two people. Like a teacher/student partnership, one is in search of some particular understanding or experience and relies on the expertise and knowledge of the other to move toward that desired end. This type of alliance requires both safety and trust and is one of the most delicate relationships. It is important that when seeking guidance you always check it with your own heart. I am in favor of helping others connect to their own inner guidance rather than relying totally on another human being. In this way, the one helping relies on the natural ability of the one asking to find their own answers. At the deepest level every “problem” also contains its own “answer.” Directing someone to their own heart and intuitive guidance is both extremely effective and empowering. All of the best teachers and guides really only open the way to our own deep inner knowing. 

Accountability--In order to follow through on what is most important to us, sometimes it’s helpful to step into the framework of accountability. Knowing that we are ultimately responsible for taking the action in our lives that will move us forward, it's too easy to let ourselves off the hook when left to our own devices. However, when we have someone to check-in with regularly, it is much easier to stay on track. Having someone that we are accountable to keeps us honest and aligned with our greatest values and visions. 

Who can best help me?

Now that you have a better sense of where you are, what your problem is, and what, specifically, you need, you can turn to the question of who can best help? If what you need is someone to just listen, then maybe a close friend or therapist is the answer. Maybe you are needing some clarity, guidance or direction, in which case a life coach, spiritual guide or teacher may best serve you. Depending on your situation any combination of counselors, ministers, therapists, healers, teachers, coaches, partners, mentors, friends, animals, the natural world, solitude, books, workshops/retreats, classes, etc. can all provide a great amount of support. Keep seeking out what you need until you find it--sometimes it takes a fair amount of experimentation before we find the right combination of support.

The truth is that we ALL need help and cannot do this life alone. The wondrous alchemy of asking is that, as Mark Nepo taught, through the courageous act of asking itself we are often shown what we are made of. That kind of courage is its own reward. What we receive is not always as important as what we gain from becoming aware of what we need and then making a request.  Also, as I have personally witnessed, through the process of asking and receiving we get to discover things about ourselves that we may not learn in any other way.  It pushes us toward cultivating relationships and into greater intimacy--not just with another person--but with ourselves through the very thing that we are needing. Our own need contains the exact ingredients for its fulfillment. Asking for help is nourishing for all involved when the giving and receiving can be seen as a life-affirming exchange of energy rather than a tit-for-tat transaction. It's time to see our needs as guides to our own self-empowerment through relationship rather than weaknesses that decrease our personal value as individuals. I love this Ted talk by the musician Amanda Palmer who has made  asking an art form and platform for her work. In it she says "When you connect with people, they want to help you." Do you believe this is true? 

Your invitation this month is to take some time to answer these questions for yourself and then have the courage to ask for help in some way. Notice what you discover in the process and then be willing to accept what you are given!

Illuminated: Stephanee Howell

"Soul tending comes through my art, through the questioning, intuitive inquiry, and exploration of my visual journaling. Art is healing. This source of the creative spark, the soul’s creative process, feels like a gift from the dark and the light." 

~Stephanee Howell

Welcome to Illuminated, a feature that I am excited to be offering as a source of inspiration for all of us following the call to live authentic, creative lives. This month I shine the spotlight on a beloved friend, fellow yogini, photographer and mixed media artist Stephanee Howell. I met Stephanee in graduate school and had the privilege of witnessing her soul-work emerge and evolve during our two year program. I credit her with inspiring and supporting my own interest in mixed media art making which has developed into a full-on passion! Stephanee is one of the most genuine, quietly present and deeply soulful people I have ever met. Her daily blog, Make Believe Boutique, offers a unique blend of beauty, wisdom, wildness, encouragement and rest. I return to it each morning as a way of filling my own well and nurturing my spirit. Stephanee is devoted to the on-going art of becoming true to her gifts and sharing them generously with everyone in her life. I am truly honored and grateful to know and be known by this luminous woman. 

Meet Stephanee:

How do you define and describe your art?

I see myself living a creative life, bringing creativity to the everyday. For me, it is about the process, rather than the outcome. There is a concept called “duende,” that speaks to me deeply. This Spanish word, meaning inspiration or passion, is at the core of my artistic process. Creativity, the creative process, making art, finding my voice~ all of it is about living authentically and with a sweetness and curiosity toward living fully. 
Making art has evolved into a contemplative, spiritual practice for me. I primarily love visual journaling and making altered books. Photography is integral to all of my art and my everyday explorations. I also love assemblage~ making boxes and shrines. Sketching, painting, and collage all have a place in my studio. Poetry is the thread that weaves through all of my work, words that are the truest and most sustaining power of life’s creative energy. 

Have you always been creative or is it something you have grown into?

I have been creating and living in imaginary worlds forever. It is my truest home. Deep imagination and play are sacred tools of seeing and perceiving, inviting in an essence of moving through time in a non-linear way. As a child, I spent many hours creating imaginary playmates, reading, playing in fairy-lands in the woods, and daydreaming. To live in this essence is simple really. But over a lifetime, it is easy to censor and become discouraged with expectations and doubt. My gift has been to nurture wonderment and a sacred trust in the land of make-believe.

Do you have any daily practices or self care rituals that you rely on to support your craft?

Absolutely. I need prayer. Gratitude practices. Mindfulness practices. Grace. I study and practice yoga as a living art. Being in nature regularly and intentionally. Meditation practice morning and night. Visual journaling became a spiritual discipline during my graduate work at Sofia University, studying the creative process through a transpersonal lens. This practice forever integrated the mundane and the sacred in my life. Nothing may be as healing and as grounding as a pause in the day with my old cat. My old fur friend holds all questions and unfinished expression.

How, if at all, has your art making cultivated the conditions for healing in your life? Can you give an example?

There are so many~  The most recent centers around the death of my mom. I light a candle for her everyday. Soul tending comes through my art, through the questioning, intuitive inquiry, and exploration of my visual journaling. Art is healing. This source of the creative spark, the soul’s creative process, feels like a gift from the dark and the light. I intuitively respond to this paradoxical mix of creation and destruction. Awareness and inner knowing are like a descending spiral, resisting definition at every turn, and can only be accessed through metaphor and poetic reflection.

What effect do you most want your art to have on your audience?

Art and service and yoga all interweave and offer a way of self-reflection that is compassionate and full of the integral beauty of our lives. How can we access that? 

Who or what currently inspires you?

Contemplative art as a spiritual practice, living and breathing and being fed through service to “something greater” is at the core of my work. I teach yoga to cancer patients, survivors and caregivers. I offer yoga/art workshops. I am studying yoga therapy. I am a Hospice volunteer and a Lay Pastoral Care Counselor through the Unitarian Church. All of this work feeds the art. The art as a spiritual practice feeds the work. 
And oh, I find inspiration in everything! I am intrigued by iphonography and am diving into it, blending it in my mixed media work. This medium integrates all that is happening, without words, into a fine triptych of life (past, present, future). I am fascinated by the many creative souls connecting through social media, giving workshops and rediscovering soul work~ skeptical about how I could offer my work, but interested. 

What questions are alive for you now? Toward what experience or idea do you feel called to explore next in your creative journey?

I am deeply inquiring into the blend of yoga and art, offering workshops that integrate these practices into daily processes and practicalities. As a facilitator, I create space for a resurrection and rekindling of life as the ultimate creative act. I ask questions. What does it really mean to be true to oneself? What does the inner heart have to say to you? I seek to honor the ordinary awakening in each moment, step by step with amazement and deep attention. I encourage playfulness with the miraculous and wildly rich inner life that emerges within the day-to-day routine. This soul matrix is about being fit and fearless as a soul warrior with an unsung originality and fierce expressive expansion.

Finally, what wisdom or particular suggestion would you offer to someone who is seeking to be more creative in their own lives?

Follow those little impulses to “create as you go~” those moments in your day when you need a certain color, a store window calls to you, a soft shawl speaks to you. These are little secrets from your soul, whispering. Don’t worry so much about sitting down at a blank white page, thinking that you need to learn how to paint. It’s much more. Lean into living a bit more fully and richly. Be in the moments of your life, especially the muck and the messiness. It’s beautiful there.

Thank you Stephanee!

To learn more about Stephanee's work, visit her web-site: http://makebelieveboutique.com

and check out her professional profile: 

https://pathbrite.com/inbluesky

Body Language

(art by Heng Swee Lim)

The difficulty is to learn to perceive with your whole body, not with

just your eyes and reason.  The world becomes a stream of tremendously

rapid, unique events.  So you must trim your body to make it a good

receptor.  The body is an awareness; and it must be treated impeccably.

~Carlos Castaneda

The body says what words cannot.
~Martha Graham

Take a minute right now to consider what you are currently embodying in your life. Imagine seeing yourself as you move through your days; observing from a distance. Think of your routines, habits and interactions. What are the first impressions that you get when you see yourself in this way? Do you see someone who is rushed and distracted, lonely or lost, peaceful and purposeful; melancholy or content? Possibly a combination of a few states of being? 

We are all familiar with what body language is...you’ve had a “gut reaction” about something or maybe you have been talking to someone and sensed that what they were saying and what they really felt didn’t sync up. It's a kind of nonverbal communication where thoughts, intentions, or feelings are expressed by physical behaviors such as facial expressions, body posture, gestures, eye movement, touch and the use of space. Our bodies contain a wealth of information and intelligence that we need only learn how to connect with and respond to appropriately.

The body doesn't lie. But often we ignore the feedback of our senses and nervous system and have grown increasingly disconnected from our natural instincts and deeper intuition. Usually an imbalance or dis-ease of some kind results. One of the things that has been confirmed time and time again during my experience with healing work is that physical illness is the result of an energetic blockage in the body and energetic blockages contain emotional information that is needing to be expressed and released in order for healing to complete. That is why working with the body is a vital part of my work with creativity. We can "talk" about our issues all day without any significant change, but when we are willing to step into the experience of the issue as it lives in the body and allow it to be felt and voiced, then true healing or wholeness is possible.

The concept of embodiment is one that holds the human being as a vessel or vehicle for consciousness--we posses the miraculous difficulty of being both matter and spirit and we have been gifted with the messy business of learning how to operate as a boundless, limitless soul within the confines of a mortal body and finite structure. Any practice that call us into a conversation with the body/mind processes can be considered an embodied practice--yoga is a perfect example as is any movement based expression that fosters the development of greater awareness through the body. Embodiment is closely tied into the feminine process of creativity which is earthy, cyclic and intuitive and can be viewed in partnership with enlightenment which tends to be a more masculine, linear, transcendent and spiritual process. 

I have been able to identify three important principles that relate to the concept of embodiment.

The first is CONNECTION. When two or more things are joined or bound together, a connection is made. This uniting of parts to make a whole is what connection is about. It happens to be the very definition of Yoga, which comes from the Sanskrit Yuj, meaning "to yoke or bind." Embodiment calls us into relationship with ourselves by creating a conversation with what is occurring between the inner landscape and the outer environment. Culturally we have created a divide between the mind and body and we live in a very "head-centric" culture that places greater value on the the development of the mind as separate from the body. As a result, many of us learned from a young age to disassociate from our natural rhythms, ignore the instincts and impulses of the body, and mask our true emotions. Many are trapped in unconscious patterns of fight, flight or freeze from the continuous triggers of stress that impact us daily. We long to make a connection but feel lost, tired and overwhelmed. One of the wonderful things about creativity is that it invites us back into relationship with our life force and encourages us toward connection no matter where we may find ourselves. The creative process always offers us a way home to ourselves because it is a natural process that lives within each of us and unites us with our soul essence. Cultivating a connection to our bodies requires a consistent, dedicated practice of learning to become aware of the more subtle "felt sense" of the body. This concept of the "felt" sense emerged out of the research of psychotherapist Eugene Gendlin who observed that those who were successful in therapy were those that were able to connect to this internal body awareness. Movement and breath practices are wonderful for helping us gain access to and thereby express our authenticity directly.

One of the gifts of becoming aware of what we are currently embodying in our lives is the ability to consciously choose what it is we would like to more fully develop and express as we move through our days. In this way, we become a living work of art that is interconnected with all other living things.

If you are curious about the other two principles and exploring your own creativity through the body, I invite you to attend my next workshop on April 18th at One Yoga and Fitness: Body Language: Embodiment as a Gateway to Authentic Self Expression. We will cultivate a connection to the wisdom of the body through story-telling, poetry and expressive arts practices such as authentic movement, embodied journaling and "body-mapping." For more details and to register:Embody Your Essence . 

Happy Spring! 

Illuminated: Catherine Wright

Welcome to March and a brand new offering that I will be weaving into my blog posts in the months to come! I am excited to announce that I will be featuring different artists/creative souls whose work has inspired my own through their dedication to their craft and in alignment with the spirit of bringing healing to the world. I am calling this series of interviews "Illuminated" as my intention is to highlight not only artistic achievement but also the ways in which each artist courageously commits to bringing forth the unique light of their soul calling in their daily lives.

This month the spotlight is on a woman that I just recently met at the wedding of another dear friend and artist. Catherine Wright or "Cat" is an exuberant powerhouse of a woman who lives and works in Upstate New York. Cat and I connected immediately upon our introduction. After learning that she is a performance artist and has traveled around the country with her performances, I felt comfortable sharing that I secretly harbor fantasies about exploring performance art too (a decision that I made promptly after I was introduced to the work of Marina Abramovic). I dub Cat "a CATalyzer" as she carries the gift of getting people to move as was evidenced by the way she encouraged even the shyest table bound at the wedding reception to rise to the dance floor to strut their stuff!

Here's my interview with Cat:

"I believe in the possibility of inspiring others to move their bodies, to breathe, and to be.  I also believe in the possibility of supporting folks to tap into their personal courage. The foundation of this process is love, kindness, compassion, and CELEBRATION." ~Catherine Wright

How do you define and describe your art?

I create environments in which a character interacts and performs ritualistic tasks that are psychologically driven. These performance pieces have been described as having a "gothic, grunge aesthetic" (LeFevre, Minneapolis Star Tribune) that are Shamanic, haunting, evocative, vivid, and mythical. The work I produce is a reflection of my identity, comprised of my upbringing, heritage, and life experiences. I am a proud eccentric.

In the past, I have researched the philosophies of Carl Jung, in particular Anima/Animus and the subconscious/conscious spirit inside the context of the natural world. These explorations yielded a dark aesthetic and expression in my work. In contrast, I have discovered a lighter artistic voice through the practice Yoga and the interconnectivity and compassionate teachings of all living things. I continue to explore these dichotomies and their interrelatedness by abstracting them into shape-shifting movement with gesture and intense character analysis. This is done via a ceremony using sculptural props, canvas and animal skin paintings, body painting, costume design, and film projections. My art is rarely literal, but typically dramatic. I encourage a constructivist lens so the work reflects back on the observer their own life experiences and perspectives. This exchange creates a more meaningful, personal, and memorable understanding.

Have you always been creative or is it something you have grown into?

I have always been creative.  My genetic codes come from naturalists, engineers, musicians, artists, and teachers.  From birth, my mother fostered problem-solving skills in seeking answers for our inquisitive minds/curiosity.  Nothing was considered too adult for our young brains.  We attended her art classes and exhibits and had philosophical discussions early on.  She was also an advocate of moving the body and, as such, she enrolled my siblings and I in athletic activities as soon as we could walk with practices such as soccer, gymnastics, swimming, theater, martial arts, and for me personally, freestyle dance watching Hot Gossip and grooving out in costume to disco and synth pop records.  I started studying dance intensely, specifically Afro-Modern in public school and studio competition dance after school, at the age of 14 and enjoyed learning other people’s choreography. I relished observing the creative process of my teachers, guest artists, and high school peers.  My only personal creative exploration in the formative years was through film-making and I credit David Lynch and Ridley Scott science fiction for the inspiration.  It was at the University of Utah where my movement creativity came alive under the guidance of incredible mentors in movement composition, improvisation, and film.  This is where I found my artistic voice, and I am forever grateful to that community.  I shocked my peers quite a bit with my sacrilegious compositions, but they stood by me and had my back the whole time!  I can recall post-performance discussions with my professors and classmates where I heard “your work was weird and strange, but keep going.”

Do you have any daily practices or self care rituals that you rely on to support your craft?

Yoga and daily breath practices are imperative to keeping my center.  I also start the day with a simple and quick meditation on gratitude for those who are supportive of my life process.  I am truly blessed with some incredible friends and a loving family support system.  I do need to take Epsom salt baths and appreciate oral and topical Arnica Montana for body care.  I enjoy a daily ukulele practice to keep “vishudda” (voice) active and alive, and I am inspired by academic conversations with colleagues from the community mentioned above.  I try to get 8 hours of sleep, and I am currently working to manifest a balance of 5 hours of paid work (teaching), 5 hours of artistic work and rehearsal, and 5 hours of “play time” (dance improvisation, nature hikes, hanging with friends, etc.).  I am admittedly a workaholic, and my recent read “Making Your Life as an Artist” by Andrew Simonet is pushing me to take more time off in the day to give my brain and body a much needed rest so that my rehearsal time is more productive. This has been a delightful challenge.

How, if at all, has your art making cultivated the conditions for healing in your life? Can you give an example?

Art has always been a part of my healing process, even if it’s subconscious.  It’s a way of taking something that is gnawing away at your insides and expelling it out of the body where it can be worked with and used as a catalyst for inspiring others to do the same.  The “problem” is no longer embodied and we can reclaim our center.  It could be a personal quest such as healing from addiction or a global healing cause such as genocide.   A specific example I can talk about now was when I was commissioned via the Walker Art Center and Jerome Foundation for the 2007 Momentum Dance Series at a particularly challenging time in my life.  I was living in a woman’s shelter and going through a divorce from a 7-year marriage of wonder, delight, adventure, and also infidelity, alcoholism, physical and emotional abuse. By channeling my healing process into the multi-media production titled “Return” for this Momentum series, it was a way of detaching the story from my personal sphere and abstracting it into a fairy tale.  Consequently, the pain no longer defined me or had power over me and I “returned” to Catherine.  I had such amazing support from the dancers, composers, and videographers on that production and I’m still friends and in weekly conversations with some of the artists that participated.  It was a life changing experience.

What effect do you most want your art to have on your audience?

I believe in the possibility of inspiring others to move their bodies, to breathe, and to be.  I also believe in the possibility of supporting folks to tap into their personal courage.  The foundation of this process is love, kindness, compassion, and CELEBRATION.

Who or what currently inspires you?

EXPERIENCE is what currently inspires me!!!  I’ve been working on what I call “an experiential doctorate degree.” LOL!!! Whether it be travelling to a new place or participating in activities in the home-nest, every day is an opportunity for research and understanding, and hopefully just BEing.  My current exploration is COMMUNITY and healing. A yoga mentor once said, “We are all in the process of waking up.”  It takes a village to raise a child right?  And I believe we are all children.  There are numerous specific individuals in my current communities that inspire me, sometimes with love and kindness, and honestly, sometimes with anger and hatred.  To list them all would take an entire page and they come from various social, cultural, and generational backgrounds.  Some don’t even understand their importance in the process, and others I have had the opportunity to express my gratitude to. I am also inspired by the important work of Brene Brown.

What questions are alive for you now? Toward what experience or idea do you feel called to explore next in your creative journey?

How can I honor the path to heal with the arts and also create a foundation to own a house, find a loving partner, and perhaps even raise a family? How do I find balance in taking the steps to answer that question and also surrender to just BEing? I’m exploring these answers with a current performance project on the Freudian psychology of the ID, Ego, and SuperEgo. I’m not sure how it will all pan out and I still haven’t found the connection.  We shall see……..

Finally, what wisdom or particular suggestion would you offer to someone who is seeking to be more creative in their own lives?

Creativity comes in all forms: picking out your clothes to wear for the day, cooking your meals, planting your garden, choosing which playlist to listen to. I am a fan of journaling and sketching.  Getting thoughts and experiences out of the body and mind and onto paper.  Also go see art in the public sphere (away from the computer), try a new class, and then embrace your courage to SHARE.

Thanks so much Cat! 

Catherine Wright "Art Yoga Cat" is an interdisciplinary performance artist, certified dance and yoga instructor, and an award-winning director and choreographer.  She has over 20 years in the performance industry.  She began her training at the age of 14 at the Minneapolis Children's Theater Company and became a professional West African dancer for Chuck Davis and the Walker Art Center at the age of 16. She has directed and been commissioned to choreograph 4 full-evening productions through the Jerome Foundation, the Walker Art Center, and the Bush Fellowship Foundation.  She won the 2009 MN Fringe Festival Encore Award for her production "Thrower of Light."  Catherine is currently touring a new one-woman Hawai'i Bat Cave Cabaret titled "Tough Love."   

To learn more about Catherine and to see her work check out these links:
www.artyogacat.com
www.vimeo.com/artyogacat
www.facebook.com/artyogacat
www.facebook.com/Catherine.Wright.9066

Keeping With Good Taste

Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.

~Ira Glass

When was the last time that you had the feeling of being new at something and although you had the desire to do it well, you still felt awkward and uncomfortably novice? I can remember feeling that way when I first began teaching yoga. The timing of my cues felt off, I stressed over pacing the class appropriately and felt fraudulent trying to say the Sanskrit names of the poses correctly. It’s been almost 10 years since I began teaching and I still get a tinge of nervousness beforehand. I am also reminded of how it felt being a new mother and being totally overwhelmed by the experience. Nothing I did felt easy or natural. It wasn’t until my son was well over a year old that I had an inkling of what I was doing. By the time my daughter was born almost three years later, I felt so much more confident and I accepted the creative freedom of making the rules up as I went. Now, eight years later, being a mother has become one of the most natural experiences, although it's certainly not easy!

Anytime we are willing to try something new we also have to be willing to go through this difficult stretch of time where, as Ira Glass so poignantly states, our taste does not yet match our talent. This is exactly where I find myself again in my life: the sucky art making stage. This is the technical name that I've recently learned. Whether your "art" is parenting or painting, business or hobbyist, we all know what it is to be a beginner. I am finding myself in this place both artistically as I am learning how to draw and paint, and also professionally as I am slowly learning how to navigate the realm of career development. I admire others' fancy websites and sigh. I shake my head in amazement at the mother-wife-artist-homeschooling woman who teaches, writes a daily blog and cooks healthy dinners. I get overcome by a wave of exhaustion just thinking about all that is involved in building a sustainable business. I felt incredibly grown up after getting my LLC just this month. But that only lasted for a moment until I realized that it is only a first step. Now what?! 

As I am finding my way through this new stage of life, I’m taking refuge in my creative process and allowing it to light the way to fresh discovery. These are a few things that my experience has confirmed in the last month:

1.  Learn to Love Green

As I said before, when we venture into new territory, we can expect to be challenged by how much we don’t know and how incapable we may feel. Being a beginner takes a tremendous amount of courage. Everyone, at some point, has been there and if you are growing and evolving you will feel this vulnerability often. Remind yourself that it is a necessary stage and learn to love it for all of its verdant awkwardness and tremendous possibility.

2.  Imitate don’t compare

This year long art class that I am taking is full of incredible artists, illustrators and designers whose work is consistently breathtaking. We are encouraged to post our artwork in a private forum for the others to see. I have forced myself to do it because I know that my inner critic would prefer me to keep it to myself. Comparison and judgement are the bedfellows of the critic and can easily crush the beginners spirit. I have learned to appreciate the immense talent that I am learning from and even attempt to imitate it. I find that in the "sucky art making stage", while learning a new technique, it can be beneficial to follow the exact instructions for some time. The key is to not compare the outcome of your work with the more advanced practitioner but rather use it as way to learn and eventually become familiar with your own voice and style. 

3.  Have Space

It is imperative to have a space where we can create. It can be a corner of the room, a spare table or special room. If we have a place where our supplies are readily available and where we return regularly, we are much more likely to make something happen. Often just showing up is enough. Even on the days when I don’t feel inspired, I find that cleaning paint brushes, organizing papers, writing a few words or doing a couple of yoga poses will yield something positive. Being in your space incubating the seeds of creativity will, over time, generate good creative karma.

4.  Embrace Equanimity

Some days you will adore what you make and others you will be utterly disappointed. Practice the art of detachment and releasing outcome. Just like the intricately crafted Buddhist sand paintings that are offered to the wind when completed, the fruits of our labor can offer the same levity when we learn to move beyond criticism and praise. Remember that whatever you craft is temporary and be willing to let it go.  

5.  You Are Worthy Now

It’s easy to confuse self-esteem with self-worth. Self-esteem rises and falls with our accomplishments and disappointments and holds its center of gravity in events that happen outside of us. Self-worth comes from recognizing that we are enough right now and that nothing we do or don’t do affects that truth. Your self-worth is a constant, eternal, unchanging quality that is not dependent on what you make. Because you are here, doing your best, you are worthy.

6.  Invest in Your Soul

It can become an excuse for us to not create anything, but we have to have the tools that we need to make our art. And Oh, what a difference quality supplies make! I recently splurged on Caran Dache water soluble crayons and I can’t believe how creamy and beautiful the colors become when water is added. If your soul tells you to paint, then you must get yourself some wonderful paints. Jungian analyst and storyteller Clarissa Pinkola Estes talks about always loving to write as a child and how as an adult she buys high quality pens and paper to support her craft of writing and her love of the implements. Especially as we are just learning, it may be sensible and economical to stick with cheaper supplies, but once in a while treat yourself to something special--your Soul will thank you. 

7.  Allow Yourself to be a Work in Progress

I have noticed a couple of things from this new starting place: I am aware of a desire to fast forward from novice to expert without giving myself the time to learn and develop naturally and that there are few people in the consumer world that readily admit to being in this first phase of development. Instead, there is an expectation/illusion of expertise or mastered accomplishment with no hint of what it took to get there. I'm craving a more complete picture of achievement--one that includes the idea that mastery is a long way off and plenty of mistakes are being made in the process. As I find myself in the land of "first timer" again I realize, from experience, that I'm allowed to have a process too and that I don't have to get anywhere fast or pretend to have it all figured out. As one of my teacher says: You are where you are. 

Embarking on a new quest is a humbling experience and requires plenty of patience and compassion. If you find yourself in this particular phase do yourself a favor and remind yourself of what good taste you have and keep making your art if for no other reason than to be true to what you love. Let the outer timing and inner rhythm begin to weave their strands into your larger vision. For as long as it takes give yourself plenty of time to make sucky art with a generous heart knowing your skill is being refined with each attempt. 

(As a follow up to last month's post, a big thank you those who showed up for HeART and Soul--it was another fabulous group of creative women. In addition, I have decided to postpone my six week series The Courage to Create for the time being. I am available for individual life coaching/personal healing sessions--feel free to contact me if you are interested or need more information.) 

The Courage to Create

You know how it is. Sometimes we plan a trip to one place, but something takes us to another. 
~Rumi

Now I am revealing new things to you
Things hidden and unknown to you
Created just now, this very moment.
Of these things you have heard nothing until now.
So that you cannot say, Oh yes, I knew this.
~Isaiah 48:6-7

Happy New Year! I hope that your holidays have provided you with some small unexpected blessings and cherished moments. This is a juncture where we are called to pause, reflect and appreciate where we are in our journey and to begin to decipher our direction in the months to come. I really appreciate this opportunity to look more broadly at my life and consider the convergence of time--past, present and future--in this particular moment of my personal history to discern my next steps. 

I am not one for making resolutions nor do I tend to be motivated by lofty goal setting. It doesn’t light me up or inspire me to action. Instead, goals and resolutions often feel like dressed up obligations that we “should” make into priorities in our lives. The intention of resolution is usually good, however, so I believe that it is better to stick with intention setting and move from there. So what is truly alive for you beneath the resolutions? As I consider my own intentions and desires, I am aware of a longing for simplicity, beauty, and ease. When I am lovingly honest with myself, I am able to cut through all of my mental complications and see clearly that my heart’s desire is to create art in new ways each day. That’s all I really want to do. So I signed up for a year long mixed media art making class called Life Book. Each week, for the entire year, I will get to learn more about art journaling (one of my passions) from some of the best artists in the field. I recognize that my longing is connected to a larger vision for my life that continually meets me when I am willing to step toward it. I have no idea where it is leading me but the more I follow my bliss, the more my faith in the unfolding journey deepens. And what I have always really wanted is to live a life that is in alignment with the purpose and vision for which I was created. 

So what do you really want? What have you always really wanted? 

In addition to setting an intention based on your own heart’s longing, I invite you to consider another inquiry as this new year begins. It is the one that I am committing to and I would love it if you would join me as a companion on this journey: 

What would it mean for me to grow spiritually in the next year? 

If it speaks to you, begin to carry this question with you as you walk through your days and pay attention to what it awakens inside of you. A great start would be to take some quiet time with your journal (yes, you must have a journal!) and begin with a prayer or silent moment. Ask for guidance, hope, clarity, truth, new paint brushes, or a fast writing pen. Ask for what you really want. Rumi says, The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you. . .don’t go back to sleep. . .You must ask for what you really want. So go ahead and ask! Take the verse from Isaiah (above) or choose one from a spiritual tradition that speaks to you and write it at the top of the page. This exercise comes from a wonderful book called The Artist’s Rule by Christine Valters Painter. She recommends it as a Lectio divina, or “sacred reading” practice. After you have written the passage read it aloud. Listen for a word or phrase that beckons you and repeat the word(s) to yourself in silence. Give it some time to unfold in your imagination and to dance with your feelings, thoughts and sensations. What do you notice? How does it connect with your life at this time? Journal your findings as a way of beginning this new quest with a sense of love and devotion. Tuck it into your heart this month and allow it to ripen within you.

If this particular inquiry about developing spiritually and engaging with the creative process speaks to you, I invite you to some of the upcoming workshops that I am offering in the new year. The first is called HeART and Soul and serves as an introduction to the transformative nature of the creative process. No art experience necessary! Specifically for women, the themes of Intention and Inquiry, Embodiment, Intuition and Spirituality are introduced and touched upon. In it I share a bit of my own story and together we will explore a few expressive arts activities such as journaling, free drawing and collage. I will be offering this workshop twice in January: first on Saturday, January 10 at Harmony Yoga Studio (for those of you in the Orlando area) and again in Clermont on Sunday, January 25th at One Yoga and Fitness and the link to register is here: HeART and Soul

Next, I have developed a six week series for women called “The Courage to Create: Awakening to an Authentic Vision for our Lives.” It is meant for those of you that want to deepen your connection to creativity and more thoroughly explore the ideas introduced in HeART and Soul. Beginning Saturday, February 21, 2015, we will meet each week at One Yoga and Fitness to explore the subject of calling and creativity for self-discovery and transformation. A different theme, along with creative exercises, supplemental reading and journaling exercises will be offered with the intention of opening to a larger vision for our lives. I see this workshop series as a modern day vision-questing experience. In all spiritual traditions time was taken for soul work and to attend to the true excavation of our higher selves. Often it was undertaken alone and in the wilderness: Jesus in the desert, Muhammad in a cave, Buddha under the Bodhi tree (where were all the women?!). Most of us are not able to leave our everyday lives in search of revelation and yet we are called to carry out the full potential that lives within us. Soul work isn't about self-improvement, it's about self-discovery and beckons us to unearth the real treasure within. It isn't about manufacturing a perfect life, it's about fashioning an existence based on our essential values and inherent gifts. We need to make our soul work a priority and my hope is that these workshops provide such an opportunity and blessing. Registration will open soon! Feel free to stay connected via my Facebook page for updates. As they say in the Native American tradition: may all of your journeys bring good vision this year! 

The Power of Perspective

(View of Earth from Mars)

The greatest risk to man is not that he aims too high and misses, but that he aims too low and hits. ~Michaelangelo 

In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted. ~Bertrand Russell

Do you ever just stop and take a few moments to step back and pay attention to your current place in the scheme of things? I love the times when I am spontaneously taken with the smallness of my life in relation to the magnitude of the galaxy within which I move and experience the miraculousness of this existence. I have been having those expansive tinges quite often lately. I'll be going along, lost in the priority of the moment, and then I'll remember the stars, the other planets, the lives that have passed and those yet to come and shudder at the immensity of how much I don't know. It's like a compassionate wake up call that puts the context of my life inside of a much wider playground. I can't help but be left feeling that whatever I am planning or pondering is really too small! Currently this way of perceiving is helping me to think, not just in terms of depth, but also with greater breadth. The question that is living close to my heart now is: How can I live with a bigger vision? 

We are all familiar with the feeling of being stuck and unable to see our way beyond certain challenges and life circumstances. I have begun to see this phenomenon regularly in my coaching practice as I talk with people who are seeking to grow into a more authentic way of living but the patterns of thought and habit are so engrained that it feels impossible to see a way forward. Whether discussing a relationship, career, or health related challenges, every conversation reaches a point where the person expresses frustration around feeling stuck and unable to see beyond their current reality. Very often it sounds more like a "black & white" or "right & wrong" dilemma. All or nothing. Always or never. I am beginning to recognize this polarized way of thinking as a favorite mechanism of the inner critic to keep us from moving forward. You can be sure that when you are receiving messages that sound as if your only choices are "this" or "that," that you are listening to the voice of fear; not the whisper of your soul. So what can we do to begin to open up to greater possibility? Essentially the question becomes: how can we perceive differently so that we can live differently? 

Partly out of my personal frustration to expand my own limitations and because of my desire to help others, I came up with this exercise that I call The Power of Perspective Practice. I recommend this as a journaling process. Here's how it works: 

First, acknowledge the "stuckness" or frustration of your current situation as fully as you can. Begin to cultivate a greater awareness to what is present. What does your current reality really feel like? Describe it in as much detail as possible. Do you feel lost, confused or overwhelmed? Angry or depressed? What is happening in your body? What image or metaphor relates to your circumstance? For instance, do you imagine yourself like Sisyphus, doomed to push a rock uphill for the rest of your life? Or are you at a crossroads with only two paths and fear making the "wrong" choice? Take some time to become familiar with the exact nature of your particular challenge. 

Next, take a moment to consider the possibility of a different point of view. Are you willing to see this situation differently? I know, on the surface, most people instantly say "Yes!" However, I have come to realize that often it requires a more organic shift that evolves over a period of time. Nonetheless, a "yes" (reinstated again and again) is a vital affirmation. I see this particular "in-between" place as the space that exists between impossible and possible. It is very fertile ground that prepares the psyche to embody a new perception. It may take weeks or months in this middle place, incubating possibility, before we are ready to fully accept the perceptual shift. This is because of the way so much of our thinking and behaving is conditioned and reinforced over time. It takes patience and practice to unlearn!

Now, the fun part. Brainstorming on my own, I came up with a list of different points of view. This list is by no means exhaustive but it is a start. Consider looking at your reality from a few of these perspectives:

• Meta-view--hovering over or above and beyond (like my space and stars analogy)
• One year, five years, ten years, etc. from now
• POV from something I love to do (yoga, hiking, writing…)
• Spiritual/deeper meaning (WWJD…or Buddha, Muhammad, Krishna…)
• Educational (what am I supposed to learn from this?)
• Gratitude (what am I most grateful for here?)
• Creative/Artistic/Musical (What is seeking to come to life through me?)
• POV of a child
• Humorous (What can I laugh about?)
• Metaphorical (imagine a different metaphor)
• Nature (elemental--earth, water, fire, air)
• A dream (symbolic significance)
• Singular focus (if you could only do one thing in the next week…)
• Upside down (What is the opposite?)
• If time and money weren't an issue...
• If I couldn't make a mistake or fail…
• Failure (what's the worst…?)
• Success (what's the best possible outcome?)
• Your career self
• Your best friend
• A character from your favorite movie or book
• Relational (what is my relationship to this challenge/what role am I playing?)
• Objective (non-personal--what if it was happening to someone else?)
• Calling (to what am I being called?)
• Wise self (what is the wisdom to be gained?)
• Life Purpose (in terms of meaning/why I'm alive)
• Happening to your best friend
• POV of someone from another race, class, country, or planet
• POV of an animal
• Acceptance (not having to "do" anything)
• Resistance (what am I afraid of?)
• Most loving and compassionate POV
• End of life looking back
• POV of man (if you are a woman) or woman (if you are a man)
• Simplicity (if it wasn't complicated…)
• Surrender (what do I need to release?)
• Balance (what is middle place between all or nothing; this or that?)
• Curiosity (what questions arise when I consider this situation?)
• Marathon (see your life's journey as unfolding over a long stretch of time)
• Seasonal (what season or cycle am I in now?)
• Psychospiritual model (Chakras, Ayurveda, TCM, etc) 
• Present moment awareness (what is the "problem" in this very moment?)
• Ask: who would I be without this story?

I know that some of these sound silly, but it's about getting us to begin to expand the options and try on several points of view to find what best "fits" for our situation. I would love to hear your ideas for alternative perspectives! What other lenses can you come up with? How does your situation look different from some of these angles? Which point of view would you like to adopt? Begin to practice with it daily and see what opportunities begin to open. This practice can, potentially, not only help us with our individual struggles but also gift us with the ability to view the "others" in our world with greater compassion and acceptance. If you are called to live with a bigger vision or you would like help in gaining a new perspective on your life, I would love to support you. You can learn more about individual life coaching sessions on this page. I am in the process of planning a workshop series around the theme of awakening to an authentic vision that that will be offered in the new year, so stay tuned! In the meantime, go stargazing and find a way to celebrate your precious life.

Wishing you a wonderful holiday season!